Overjoyed x2!

Today has been an amazing day! I met B & R at the U of M a bit before my appointment. They were so excited they had been there about an hour already! I was excited too and was there 10 minutes early.

We sat in the waiting room and chatted and watched my 2 year old climb the chairs. Finally, my name was called. 

As I walked back with the tech, I told her that I have an entourage with me and I would like them present when it's time for the ultrasound. She said "you want what to happen?" I told her again that I would like my husband and the parents to be present for the ultrasound. That she finally got.

I was left to undress and cover as I waited for the doctor to come in and the ultrasound to begin. The tech brought everyone back to me and we all chatted until the doctor came in.

B & R moved up by me (thank you!) and we all could watch the ultrasound monitor.

In went the probe and we all started watching the screen. A couple of seconds later we started seeing dark blobs appear on the screen. She quickly discounted one of them as just blood (there was nothing inside) and showed us the remaining two sacs. Twins!

The two dark areas are the sacs and the little spots of white inside are the babies!

It was so cool to watch as she measured each sac and the "crown to rump" measurement. Both babies are measuring almost perfect at 6 weeks 5 days and 6 weeks 4 days. (I am currently 6 weeks 6 days). 

My favorite part of every prenatal appointment came next: listening to the heartbeats. There isn't a more wonderful sound in all the world, if you ask me. To think that these little babies, each no bigger than a blueberry, has a heart that is beating on its own is such an amazingly awesome thing to me. I will never stop marveling at the awesomeness of that sound. I absolutely love that sound!

Baby A cooperated and allowed us to easily hear the beats and count them-130 beats per minute. Baby B was a bit more tricky to get to, but we were able to hear the beats as well-124 beats per minute. Perfect for almost 7 week babies!

B & R are so excited to know that everything seems to be going well and the babies and I are healthy. I don't know if its really hit any of us yet, there are going to be two little people joining the party in 7-8 months! I'll probably write about it once reality hits me that I'm carrying two babies. :-)

I am so excited for small miracles!

A Fun Weekend

Saturday afternoon B & R flew in to MSP for the weekend. Of course we wanted to see them and introduce our girls to them.

My oldest instantly had new best friends. What? People who want to talk with her and play I Spy? Friends for life! My youngest took a bit more convincing and didn't say much for a few hours, but would shoot them little looks and grin. 

We enjoyed showing B & R a bit of Minnesota, namely, the Mall of America. After a casual dinner and some shopping, we called it a night.

Yesterday, we met for lunch and since my kiddos still have a rest time, I took them home, but not before inviting B & R over for dinner.

We enjoyed a leisurely dinner and conversation. At bed time B & R left with a promise of meeting me at my ultrasound appointment the next morning.

So, that's where we are. I'm getting a couple of munchkins ready for the day (slowly-nausea is ever present this morning) and later this morning will be making another trip to the U of M for an ultrasound to check for viability and to count how many there are! I'll post about that later.

For now I'm enjoying the little miracles in my life.

Welcome Back, Nausea

Since a few days after the transfer I've been experiencing what I'd call mild nausea. As of this last Friday, the mild has since been upgraded to moderate-to-severe. 

Yesterday, I was pretty much out of commission for the entire morning. Today, I was awakened at 3:37am with "oh my word what is going on" nausea. I dozed on and off for a few hours, but still have quite the upset stomach.

Unfortunately, the nausea isn't going away as early as it was previously. I'm learning how to cope and function at an almost normal level by taking a lot of breaks, drinking my icy water, and keeping a bit of food in me at all times. Most days these tricks work.

This may sound crazy, but I don't mind the nausea. I know that this is a sign that the pregnancy is going well, and since I can't yet feel movement inside, I like the reassurance of some symptoms. 

Miracles make it happen!

The Pregnant Stomach

Last night Shawn and I were able to get away for a couple of hours without the kiddos and enjoy a nice meal together. (Many thanks to my cousin who watched the girls for us!)

The humor happened when we arrived at the restaurant. We had a Groupon for a new-to-us Brazillian Steakhouse that we decided to check out. It is your typical "guys wearing nickers carrying spears of meat" kind of restaurant. 

The first bit of humor happened when Shawn asked if we could substitute the bottle of wine that came with our meal for something else as I am pregnant. The server said no, but he could bring me something else and we could take the bottle home. Okay. Send the pregnant lady home with a bottle of wine. Whatever works for them.

Next was me trying various foods. I am in LOVE with red meat right now. Yum! Apparently, seasoned chicken tastes good, but my poor stomach won't let me enjoy it. The same goes for bacon wrapped turkey, cheese puffs, ham, and quite a few other things I attempted to eat last night. I felt bad that I kept rejecting foods, but I was able to find the humor in the situation. I love foods, so the fact that I would instantly reject foods after what can only be considered a small tastes is kind of funny to me. 

Gotta love pregnancy tastes and aversions! Its all for a good reason, right?

Little miracle, you sure have funny taste in foods!

Making Guesses

My coworkers are all making guesses about how many babies I am carrying. I've been told that when I have the ultrasound on Monday I'm supposed to text practically the whole school and let them know what the answer is. (We will see!)

Most people are guessing 1 or 2, however, a couple evil ladies are guessing 3 and 4! Yikes! Evil, evil ladies!

I've been asked what I think and I go back and forth between 1 and 2. However, I have also had a crazy dream of 3! Last week I kept having twin dreams, this week has just been strange dreams not at all about babies. Not sure what that means (if anything).

So, what's your guess?

I can't wait to see this miracle!

Surrogacy Support

Today's post isn't about how I am feeling physically, cravings, or upcoming doctor's appointments. Nope. It's about my wonderful hubby, Shawn.

Today is our 9th anniversary. As a bride I remember being excited about our future together and wondering what God had planned for our days together. I NEVER dreamed that we would have two beautiful and smart girls of our own and I would be helping another couple have a family of their own by carrying a baby for them.

Shawn has been absolutely wonderful throughout the surrogacy process. He was with me for both of the transfers, even joking that "if my wife is going somewhere to get pregnant I'd like to be there for it!"

He has encouraged me through the all of the meds and helped me when I'm just too tired to stay awake to administer them. (He hasn't been on the giving end of the shots yet, just waking me up so I can do them.)

He held me and let me cry after hearing the bad news of a chemical pregnancy and then once again when my IP's bitterly told me they weren't continuing.

He has laughed (a lot) with me as we have heard the insanely high beta numbers called to me from the nurse.

He has held my hand as I've nervously anticipated meeting my IP's.

He has brought home dinner for me when I'm just too tired (or nauseous) to cook anything.

He will eventually be the one to stay with me after the baby/ies are delivered and safely in their own room with B & R. 

Even though I'm the one taking the meds and carrying the baby/ies, there is no way I could have or would have wanted to do this without Shawn's support.

Thanks, Shawn, for your love, encouragement, and support throughout this journey. I'm glad you are by my side as we wait for B & R's miracles!

Our blessed family.

Surrogate Get-Together

Yesterday was the Agency's annual Surrogate Social. My girls and I were able to attend and what a great time we had!

A quick funny story from yesterday. The director was chatting with me and asked me how things are going with my journey. I said things are going well as I impatiently wait for the ultrasound next Monday. He asked why I am anxious about that. I told him that my last beta was rather high and I want to know how many are in there.

A bit later he introduced me to others and said "this is Shawnee, the one with the scary beta!" 

Proudly wearing my fertility helper bracelets

I love that all of us surrogates have such unique stories. Some have had really difficult journeys, others have had fairly "easy" ones (if there is such a thing as an easy surrogacy experience!)

What really hit home for me was the differences in IP's and interactions each surrogate has with them. Some of the ladies talk with their IP's a couple of times a month. Others Skype every day. Some have language barriers and time changes to contend with. There are a few that live close enough to go visit every week.

I'm somewhere in the middle. My IP's and I text a couple of times a week and have been calling about once a week. I met them in person the weekend of the transfer and will hopefully get to see them again soon at an ultrasound. We don't have time differences or language barriers (unless you call my Midwestern accent a language barrier!). They aren't within day trip driving distance, but they are within the continental 48. All in all, I'm pretty lucky.

Back to the Social...

The surrogates I know are some amazing ladies who really know how to support each other during the good and bad. We each had our own reasons for going into surrogacy. One thing is certain with each of us: surrogacy is a life-changing experience for not only us but our families and the couples we are working with.

Little Miracles, my friends and I are excited to meet you!

My Favorite (Pregnant) Things

No more cranky-pants for me! I'm making a list of some of my favorite pregnant things. I'm guessing this list will expand and or change the farther along I get. Isn't that a great thought!

So, here goes!

-Apples! The only time I can eat raw apples is when I'm pregnant. (I'm allergic to them all other times) Crazy, right? Well, I'm totally taking advantage of this nice little change by having an apple or three every day! So yummy, so juicy, so wonderful! (All you people without allergies have no idea how good you have it!)

-Ice cream. I enjoy ice cream all year, but when I'm pregnant I REALLY enjoy ice cream. To be more specific, I enjoy Culver's frozen custard with Twix, Snickers, caramel cashew, Turtle, etc. pretty much anything with caramel and nuts with a little bit of chocolate is so good! Along with their custard I like...

-Crinkle cut fries. There is just something about those bumpy ridges on the golden fried potato goodness. Yumm.

-Mexican foods. This pregnancy seems to be craving Chipotle's steak burrito or bowl. Load it with brown rice, black beans, lots of tomato salsa, a touch of sour cream and top it with cheese. Oh, so good!

-Pasta. I have no idea where this one came from. Various noodles with sauce, tomatoes and basil, butter and salt 'n pepper, sautéed veggies... I could go on and on.

I think that's most of the current list. I still wouldn't call any of these "cravings," just things I really like right now. I intend to enjoy all of these things and many more during these next 8ish months!

Miracles are wonderful things!

Rest and Relaxing

After Thursday's upsetting events, I woke up Friday morning and felt better. The bleeding had calmed down to light spotting and the cramping backed off from painful to just mild cramps. 

I decided to go into work and explain that I needed to take it easy. My boss was wonderfully accommodating to my request. I managed to only lift a couple of kiddos and sit a lot while watching my kiddos. 

I'm happy to report that the spotting has stopped altogether. I'm still mildly crampy, but its no longer uncomfortable. I'm totally okay with cramps. That tells me something is going on inside me and that is exactly what we want!

Shawn works all weekend and I amazingly have no plans for today. I told my girls that we can have a day of movies and books and hanging out. Hopefully, with a very light weekend I will be back to normal pregnant instead of cautious pregnant.

Grow, little miracles!

A Bump in the Road

Today was an insanely emotional day for me. I tend to be an early riser, so I decided to kick off my day with some prenatal yoga. This was a great way to start my day.

I went to work and went through the day with my munchkins. They presented their usual challenges, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle.

Then, my day changed drastically. On my break I decided to go see my 2 year old. 

On the way to her classroom I noticed something unusual happening. I was feeling rather crampy and then I noticed a feeling of leaking. Hmm. I doubled back to the ladies room only to discover that I had started bleeding. Not spotting, bleeding. Not enough that I would call it like a period, but enough to completely freak me out. 

Since I was at work and didn't have the Clinic's phone number on me, I shot an email to the nurse. A minute later I received a phone call from the nurse. After explaining to her what was going on with me, she said that this may be a normal symptom for this pregnancy.

That being said, Dr D wants me to be on pelvic rest until things calm down. Basically, they want me to limit my lifting to only what I have to (I have a two year old who occasionally needs picking up for random things), limit activity, limit stress as much as possible, and try to put my feet up as much as possible. I'm hoping to avoid bed rest if possible, so I'm try to obey doctors orders.

After a couple of hours of light work, I finally was able to go home and lay down.

I sent B & R a text asking one of them to call me so I can tell them what's going on. Can I say how wonderful they are? Seriously, I've been so upset and crying all afternoon and they both just reassured me that whatever happens everything will be okay. Big sigh, no more tears.

Thankfully, after hanging out on the couch all afternoon and evening the bleeding has pretty much stopped and the cramping has toned down a lot. I did send B & R another text letting them know things have calmed down. 

I'm still trying to decide what to do with work tomorrow. I think I could manage to sit more and I should be able to limit my lifting. 

Tomorrow is a day that I know will be difficult for me anyway. September 20th is my dad's birthday. I miss him daily and his birthday is all around difficult. Nerves and hormones mixed with my dad's birthday could make for an interesting day.

For now, I'm going to be happy that the bleeding and cramps have chilled out, I'll take my nightly medicines, and then go to bed with my heating pad on my leg. I'm going to get up in the morning and listen to how my body is feeling and make decisions at that point. And tonight I'll go to bed praying for a miracle.

"Are You Sitting Down?"

Those are the exact words that I heard from the nurse this morning. Yikes!

Yesterday I had another blood draw to check for my hcg level to be doubling appropriately. "Normal" doubling time is usually every 48-72 hours (basically, an hcg level of 200 should double to 400 every 48-72 hours, etc). Let's look at my history, shall we?

September 1st: two 5 day embryos transferred
September 10th: 1st hcg level is 350
September 13th: 2nd hcg level is 1390

Which brings us to yesterday's draw and my phone call this morning.

The nurse from the Clinic called this morning. She greeted me with "Are you sitting down? You probably should be for this." Holy cow! What's going on in there?

All good news. My beta hcg is at 7,343, which is a doubling rate of 40 hours.

Holy cow! Did I say holy cow? If not, then HOLY COW! That is a wicked high number!

She went on to explain that everything looks good and that she is sending over orders for the ultrasounds to be done in a couple weeks. She did mention that she would bet I'm carrying "at least two" but that she doesn't like to speculate on things like this.

It took me about a half an hour to calm down after that little bit of news. My co-workers were really amused by my reaction and very supportive. I absolutely couldn't do this without their support. (Thanks, SonShine!)

My hubby was amusing when I called him. I told him what the level was and his reaction was a "Well, all right then!" He then repeated the number back to make sure he heard correctly. :-) He's pretty excited, too, and I'm glad he's such a support for me as well.

I chatted with B & R a bit this morning. They are so excited about the news. I teased them that they needed some recovery time after the news from the nurse. :-)  We are going to try for a morning ultrasound so they can be here for it and then fly out that night.

I was asked today how I'm feeling and if I'm feeling like there's "more than one in there." Honestly, I am feeling pretty good. I am still thirsty for really cold water, but its not out of control. The morning sickness I am experiencing is pretty mellow, too. Some days are better than others, but I haven't lost my cookies. Whatever food cravings I was having have gone away, however, food aversions are still in full swing (totally can't do yogurt...). Honestly, food just disinterest me right now. This is pretty typical for me. My last two pregnancies were kind of like that, where I could have cared less about food and just ate because that is what you are supposed to do (and because baby needs it). I'm not cramping, still just "twinges" every once in a while.

Thankfully, I am not super emotional yet. I am waiting for this one to kick in. There is no way I can be on this many meds with a growing pregnancy and not start crying over a dog food commercial (hey, the puppies are so cute and really bring joy to their owners as they play fetch! Don't judge.)

I am feeling fatigued in the evenings, but I think that is pretty normal for most people. I get up at 5am, at work by 7am where I am pretty actively involved with kids until early afternoon when I go home to run errands, clean, make dinner and care for my family. Most people would be tired at 7:30pm, right? So, I can't really blame exhaustion entirely on pregnancy. Maybe a little, but not all.

Anyway, I am good. We have a healthy pregnancy on it's way. In 12 days we will get to see this miracle... or two.  I can't be much happier than I am right now.

Waiting for the Phone

Today was another beta test. Once again, the lab's STAT is taking forever. It's now 6:40 pm, I was drawn about 1:30 pm. News flash: 5 hours is not STAT. 

Sigh. I can wait for tomorrow for the phone call. 

On a positive side, I've had a pretty good day, nausea wise. Just a little bit of queasiness this morning, but nothing bad at all. Totally doable. I didn't even nosh on ritz!

I am noticing that after I get home from work I've got about a two hour burst of energy where I usually start a project (or four!). Today, I did some laundry, cleaned the kitchen and washed dishes, picked veggies from the garden, canned 4 quarts of tomatoes, and made homemade mac n' cheese for dinner. I also finished mixing and canning the yogurt I started yesterday. Like I said, it's a crazy burst of energy.

After this energy burst comes the pop! Then I'm exhausted and fighting to stay awake (Shawn's at work so I'm home alone with the kids. Otherwise I would so be asleep!). Tonight, the pop happened about 6:15. Yawn! 

Anyway, aside from wanting to hear the beta results, I'm doing really well. Nothing to complain about here!

Waiting to hear about a miracle.

Reassurance in Blood

On Friday I had another blood test to check the level of hcg. Long story short, everything is good.

Short story long, I wasn't able to go to the lab until my lunch at 1, so by the time I was actually drawn it was 1:30. The labs were ordered STAT, but as everyone knows, one person's definition of STAT can be very different from another's. This lab considers 4ish hours to be STAT... hmm.

Unfortunately, our clinic is on the east coast, which means a one hour time difference. By the time that the labs came through the clinic was closed. This meant that my IP's and I were not able to get the results on Friday. Or Saturday. Grrr...

I'm a fairly patient person, however, this time the waiting was driving me nuts! I tried to reassure B & R that everything is still okay as I was still experiencing morning sickness and haven't had any "bad" symptoms, but of course we all were waiting to hear the number.

To try to expedite things, I signed up for the online test results from the lab. A few minutes later I received a message from them! I quickly logged in and proceeded to have a heart attack. I looked to the results list and read that my hcg level was in the normal range and at a 10. My heart sank. How could this have happened? I had gone from a 350 to a 10? Nothing had changed that I could tell. What on earth?

I then noticed a note next to the 10 reading "see comments." So, I clicked on the comments. Nothing happened. I clicked again. Nothing. Click, click, click... nothing. AHHHH!!! (Yes, I actually did yell that, much to the amusement and concern of my children.)

In my frustration, I quickly scanned the results page for anything that could help me. I finally found what I was looking for. The date of the test read "February 8, 2013."

Big sigh. These were my previous transfer test results. This is not my current result that I am waiting for.

Once, my heart started beating regularly again, I signed out and tried to relax. Worrying will not help me get the results any sooner.

This morning while I was making breakfast, I received a call from an unknown number in CT. Of course I answered it! It was the nurse from the clinic. She was sent my results and wanted to let me know that my repeat beta was 1390! Holy cow! I think I must have giggled for about 10 minutes in shock! (I wrote down the number while I was still on the phone and my hubby started giggling, too!) I told her that I would like to call B & R and let them know what the results are. She was more than happy to let me do that as she had a million things to do on her Sunday. (Also, she called me at 8am my time and I KNOW B & R would not be awake yet. B & R, you are welcome for the uninterrupted sleep this morning!)

After about 40 minutes of waiting with a big ol' schmucky grin on my face (ask my hubby, he will tell you how giddy I am!) I couldn't take it anymore. I sent them a text saying " Good morning! Call me when you wake up. I have the beta results!" 20 minutes later (see, I knew they weren't awake yet!) I was able to tell them the awesome news. What a way to greet a Sunday morning!

I think we all are breathing a bit easier now that we know things are going the way they are supposed to go. I will have another repeat beta on Tuesday (my boss has already informed me that I will not be able to leave until my lunch at 1) but at least we will not have a weekend to contend with this time. Once we get awesome numbers this time, too, we have to wait another two weeks to have the ultrasound to listen to the heartbeat and find out how many are in there!

I love being the one to share this incredible news with B & R. How cool is it that on Tuesday I was able to give them the "official" news that they were going to be parents? And today I was able to reassure them that everything is going well with their pregnancy. I really enjoy bringing happiness to others and I can't think of a nicer thing to tell someone that they're going to have a baby. How cool is that?

Miracles make me smile!

Opinionated Baby(ies)!

Ever since I first met these two embryos, they have shown me that they have their own opinions and aren't afraid to let me know! (see previous posts if this doesn't make sense.) Apparently, even with pregnancy symptoms they are showing me who's boss! (B & R, take notes!)

 I've written about random symptoms that I started having in the past two weeks, however, in the past 2 days they have been kicked up a couple of notches! (I'm not complaining, just taking note of the experience.) Here's what I'm noticing from these two opinionated embryos:

-Morning Sickness. From the moment I wake up (usually around 5am) until sometime between 9:45-10:15am I have pretty decent queasy stomach. I sip my chai and water and take small bites out of Ritz crackers to keep my stomach "down." If things are really bad, I also nibble on a string cheese, which sometimes helps.

-Food aversions. Sigh. I love to eat. There aren't many foods I don't like... mushrooms, olives, cooked tomatoes to name a few. However, I now have an intense dislike for strawberries. Hopefully, this one will go away! I love berries any way I can get them. I also have noticed that I am having trouble with gooey textures. Summer squash is high on this list, unfortunately. And Greek yogurt is another iffy food. Again, the texture. 

-Food cravings. Lately, I NEED to have kosher dill pickles. This isn't much of a stretch for me as I do LOVE my pickles, however, now I need 8 pickles to make me happy. (I canned 6 quarts of pickles on Tuesday, so hopefully that will help with this particular craving.) Along with the pickles, I seem to be on a trail mix and Air Head kick. Hmm...

                                       My third jar of pickles and second bag of Air Heads.

-Fatigue. Last night I was eating dinner with my kiddos when I noticed just how tired I was. Like, struggling to stay awake kind of tired. After dinner, I put my kids in jammies and they crawled in bed with me to watch Gilligan's Island until their bedtime. After they were in bed, I went back to my room and promptly fell asleep.  Sheesh! It was only 7:30! I was fine when I woke up this morning and have been okay all day so far. We will see how I do tonight with dinner, dance class, and then bedtime. And, tonight is one of the nights my wonderful hubby has to work, so this mom is on her own with the kids for the night.

Thankfully, the cramping has pretty much stopped. I get "twinges" every once in a while, but that helps me know they are there and things are working as they should. Nothing out of the ordinary there!

I think that is all that I am physically experiencing right now. My coworkers are all making guesses on how many babies are inside and can't wait to hear the results in a couple of weeks. So far the guesses range from 1-4, with 2 being the most frequent guess made (B, don't worry, only one person said 4!).

Sometimes miracles come in ways we don't expect. :-)

And the Results Are...

Pregnant!

This morning I received a very exciting call. The nurse from the Clinic called stating that my Beta test came back and I'm pregnant! My beta was 350, which is great (anything over 25 is good!) No, this number is NOT an immediate indicator of multiples. As B keeps saying "we are hoping for a healthy baby."

The really great part is that I asked the nurse if I could be the one to call R & B. She said yes. Oh my word. I was so excited I was practically shaking! I decided to call R first (I knew that R would probably  be at the desk and able to pick up immediately.) R was SO excited! I could hear the smile through the phone! We chatted for a minute and R suggested that I call B with the news. B's reaction was great, too. B started laughing as soon as I said my beta number. B responded with "I don't think there's just one baby in there, Shawnee!" I could tell B was pleased with this thought (or shocked, who knows!). I said that I was sorry I didn't start the conversation with a "You need to sit down!" and then say what the beta was!

What happens next? Well, I continue with the same meds I am currently taking. This Friday, I will go back to the lab and have them check my beta again to make sure it is doubling the right way. I will repeat this again next Tuesday (I think.) Then, three weeks from today (give or take) I will go in for an ultrasound to listen to the heartbeat and find out how many there are in there.

Honestly, I am still ecstatic with the news! I am so stinkin' happy for B & R! What an amazing thing to be able to share this experience with another family. How cool is that!

Yeah for little miracles!

Pre-Test Nerves

Remember back when you were in college and mid-terms were approaching? Remember going through your class syllabi and noting which classes had tests you had to study for and which had papers that you could whip out last minute? Remember the nerves as you walked in to a core class thinking that you were no way prepared for the test and there goes your whole college career?

That is so not me right now! Not going to lie, I am a titch nervous, but I'm mostly excited to know that no matter what the result is I've got great IP's on my side who will work with whatever tomorrow brings. I wouldn't say I'm peaceful about the whole thing, but I'm glad to know tomorrow will NOT be a repeat of last February's situation with my IP's. Positive or negative, I'll be able to talk with them about the results.

I'm done with this negative bit! On to fun stuff...

I'm so glad that I switched my PIO shot to the night. I've been sleeping with a heating pad on the injection site which is helping TREMENDOUSLY with the soreness and bruising. I'm still icing the heck out of the spot first so I don't feel the injection much. I do still have bruises up and down my thighs, but they are much smaller than the golf ball sized ones I was getting.

I've had a few foot and leg craps over the past couple of days. B advised me to drink pickle juice to help with those, and although I haven't gone straight for the juice, I have been eating pickles. (No, pickles are not a pregnancy craving of mine. I just really love pickles and now I have an excuse to eat them!)

I'm still cramping, however, I've been able to get out of the fetal position. I am working my normal hours without much interruption or discomfort.

My water intake is still insanely high, which causes many trips to the restroom. Thankfully, my coworkers are really great and just laugh at me as I need to be excused every hour!

I am so thankful that the infection in my fingers that I experienced last January did not come back this time around! My nails and cuticles  look great, actually! (Not sure if I blogged about that little problem last time. Four of my finger nails became painfully infected during my last transfer. No one really knows why this happened or what caused it, we just know it coincided with the start of Lupron and wouldn't go away until I was put on an antibiotic. It took a few weeks to clear up.)

Anyway, all of this to say we will know by this time tomorrow if the fun symptoms I have mentioned will continue for a while or if we will start over next cycle.  Keep praying for a little miracle!

The Fetal Position

Yes, I am blogging about the fetal position. You know the way it works: lay down on a couch, bed, chair, floor, etc, and tuck your knees close to your chest while hugging your legs. I've seen guys do this when kicked in the groin, newborns like this as it reminds them of the womb, and now it's a position I'm curled up in it. 

Why am I curled in a tiny ball? 

Apparently, there is a war going on in my uterus. The Lions are trying to gain yardage on the Vikings' turf. (Today is the first game of the regular season and MInnesota plays Detroit.) We all know the Vikings are going to kick Lion butt, however, we have to watch every play, every commercial, and listen to all of the commentary to get to the final score and the cheer of the Vikings.

Or, if you want a different metaphor:

A week ago Dr D repeatedly put two embryos into their temporary home for the next 8-9 months. (See previous posts if you are confused.) Being the hospitable person I am, I medicinally made their environment as luxurious as I could. As we learned last week as we were being introduced, these little embryos are stubborn and rather picky for the perfect place to hang out. Now that they have been there a week they have chosen today to start redecorating.

However I say it, there's a whole lot of cramping going on! Since my girls are resting I decided to take this opportunity to relax in the most comfortable position I can find and hope the cramping lessens. Hence the fetal position.

Please note that I am not complaining. This is exactly what is supposed to happen. Cramping, nausea, exhaustion, etc are all GOOD things when you are a surrogate! I'm just noting the symptoms and when I experienced them for my own benefit, and hopefully, someone else can benefit from my experiences, too.

Speaking of nausea... Welcome back! I was just a bit nauseous this morning, but sometime during church this morning WHAM! Nausea hit! I made it through lunch, and I really need to start on the clean up, but blech! The thought of that makes my stomach roll, too! Oh well. Life must still go on. Dishes, laundry, and floors await!

The signs of a miracle are many!

To Pee or Not to Pee

A big debate among surrogates is whether or not to test for pregnancy at home. Some think the results should be left to the beta test two weeks after the retrieval. (My test is next Tuesday.)

Others start testing as soon as they get back from the transfer, mainly because they don't want a surprise the day of the beta. Usually people start seeing results somewhere around day 7.

I'm with the group that tests, however, I start testing on day 5 after the transfer, also known as 5dp5dt, or 5 days post 5 day (old embryos) transfers. I know that the likely way most surrogate stories go is that they get negative results for a day or two, and if they are going to get a positive it will happen around day 7pt. Silly, right? I should just start testing on day 7, right? Well, lets just say that I'm impatient and want to start testing early!

Last night I purchased 7 home pregnancy tests. Why 7? No, it's not because I'm superstitious. I'm not at all. I bought 7 because it seemed like a good number: two for Friday, two for Saturday, two for Sunday, one for Monday, blood test on Tuesday. If one of these wasn't bright in your face positive, then I could test again.

I asked B & R last weekend if they had a preference either way on me testing and they strongly encouraged me to go ahead. They also wanted results of the test. Of course, it's their pregnancy so I am happy to work with their wishes.

Yes, I did test today, and I did talk with B & R. Sorry, I'm not going to reveal the results of the test. Agony, I know! I will however, post the results of the beta on Tuesday. Call me crazy, but I feel like the 88 cent home pregnancy test results don't warrant a definitive spot on my blog, however the scientifically proven beta test should get a post all to itself. 

Don't worry, on Tuesday I will also post the results of all of the home pregnancy tests, too! Let's see how well they measure up!

Sometimes miracles take patience, persistence, and a lot of preparation!

Symptoms?

I know three days ago I received two embryos. I also know that I've been on a boatload of meds the past couple of weeks. All of that to say I think the prego symptoms are starting to kick in. 

I've been cramping on and off since Sunday afternoon. To add to that, I've noticed that my body temp is elevated (Shawn should be happy as I am usually on the cold side). Today I've also had fun hormones kick in. Seriously, I started bawling after I put the girls to bed. Tomorrow is Natalie's first day of school and she's so excited. I, however, am a wreck. After a bit of a cry, I seemed to pull it together.

Oh, and one other symptom. I am obsessed with meat and salty foods. I had a bowl of pickles and beef sticks for an afternoon snack! Not craving necessarily, but thinking that combo sounds really good.

I can't wait to see what else this little miracle will throw me!

Back to Reality

Sitting in an airplane definitely gives you time to think. I try to live in the moment, but reminiscing can be a good pastime, too. As I think about the past five days I can honestly say that I have enjoyed almost every moment of my recent journey. 

The good:

-Meeting B & R and enjoying my time with them. Having real people to go with my email, text, and phone calls. Realizing that they really do have similar ideas and beliefs and will carry them out with their children. Being comfortable with the choice in IP's we made.

-Spending some much needed alone time with Shawn. As B & R will soon learn, finding time with just the two of you becomes more challenging once you become parents. Yes, it's okay to talk about the kids when they aren't there, but the time to reconnect as a couple is invaluable.

-New York City! I seriously love that town. There is so much to see and do... Shopping was a lot of fun, Newsies was such a wonderful treat, but its the energy and the excitement that the town possesses that brings this small town girl back time and again.

-The transfer. We had two "great looking" embryos transferred into me. The excitement and the dreams that these two little specks hold will never cease to amaze. Of course we won't know how they are doing for a couple of weeks, but just the fact that they are in there after all of the preparation we have gone through is enough for me right now.

I can't even start a list of "bad/not good." The things that happened that I wouldn't put in the "good" list are rather insignificant when you really think about it. An uncomfortable transfer that went on longer than I was expecting, the nerves I had prior to meeting B & R, cramping after the transfer while on bed rest at the hotel... These aren't big things. In fact, I'd probably park them more into the "that's life" category instead. Of course, given my "special situation" not everyone experiences these kinds of realities, but that just makes my story all the more unique and special.

We are almost ready to land and this will bring my journey back down to reality. My kiddos will be there needing something for dinner, laundry will still have to be washed, I still need to prep for my class tomorrow. Reality. But now I have a little miracle inside as I live my anything but routine life. 

The two embryos/baby/ies first picture.

Just a little pregnant

This morning was THE morning. After breakfast at Panera (yummy!), we drove across the street to the Clinic. The doctor came in to the conference room where B & R and Shawn and I were hanging out. He showed us pics of the two embryos that were chosen for the transfer and had the typical consent forms for us all to sign. Then, we were off!

I was shown to a room to get ready for the transfer. Once I was presentable, the nurse came back with everyone and we were joined by the doctor. He started doing his thing (ladies, you know what I'm talking about! Kind of felt like getting a pelvic from a Resident, if you know what I mean) and a few minutes later we watched on a screen as the embryologist sucked the embryos into a tube. A few seconds later and he was in the room giving them to the doctor for insertion. We could kind of watch on the ultrasound monitor what was happening. The doctor removed the catheter and gave it back to the embryologist to check. 

The little buggers were in the catheter! The doctor said that sometimes happens when he pulls the cath out. Oh, well. Lets do this again.

Wouldn't you know it but they went back in the cath yet again! Sheesh! Apparently, they were "really sticky embryos," which is good, but we want them to stick inside me! 

The third time, the little buggers stuck where they are supposed to stay! As of 11:00a.m. eastern/10:00a.m. central I am pregnant.

I started cramping about 10 minutes ago, which is a bit over an hour since the transfer, but its nothing I'm going to complain about. Just enough to know that something's going on inside. :-)

I've been watching B & R and B hasn't stopped smiling yet. R is pretty excited, too. R commented on the way back to the hotel "I've got to drive even more carefully now as we've got special cargo on board." I'm so glad they are so excited.

Seriously, how cool is it that I get to have a part of making B & R's dream of having a family a reality? Not many people get to be involved in things like this. I'm so excited to be a part of this miracle!