Reactions and Responses

I knew when I signed up to be a surrogate that I would encounter all kinds of responses. You never really know what people's reactions are going to be until you meet them head on.

At first, I was very selective with who I told. A few close friends knew and that's about it. I wanted to surround myself with people I knew would support me. 

Closer to my first transfer Shawn and I told our families and more friends. We kind of expected some resistance from some people and we were prepared for it. We were not disappointed. Thankfully, we mostly found it humorous, but our decision had been made and a few questionable reactions were not going to change anything.

Now that I am actually pregnant with another couple's children, I can honestly say that I am still mostly amused with the varying  reactions to our news. 

Today, for example, one of my student's parents asked if I had the ultrasound and if we had a count of how many. I responded with "Twins!" and he heartily congratulated me and asked what the parents thought.

Another parent knows that I'm pregnant, and asked me how I'm doing. I told her pretty well, just battling major nausea with these two. She was quite taken aback and said "twins? Wow! Well, good for you!" I said yes, twins, and the parents are really excited for them. She had a look in her eye and asked what I meant. I said "I've told you that I'm the surrogate and I'm carrying for another couple, haven't I?" She gave me a long "nooo" and a "oh, that's nice." She quickly walked away.

Honestly, the negative reactions and the lack of reactions from some people do bother me a little, but not enough to make me regret my decision. I told my husband that honestly the people who aren't supportive of me are doing me a favor. I now know who I can count on and who really cares about me. I know who my true friends are because of all of this. It really is a blessing in disguise.

I haven't decided if I'm going to "come out" over a widespread area like Facebook or even what to do about my family Christmas letter and card. I will obviously be showing by the time we take our picture for it, and I usually recap the year's events for us all. My surrogacy journey has been a big part of my life this past year. I'm just not sure... 

All of this has taught me a lesson. I think that it is possible to be supportive of someone else's decision even if you don't agree with the decision. It's more about putting the other person's needs first and just loving the person for who they are. You don't have to love the decision or even agree with the decision, but remember there is a human being who needs people to come alongside them and care about them.

These little miracles have a long road ahead of them. They have 7 more months of me taking care of them and a lifetime with their parents to look forward to. From what I know of their parents, they will be given the unconditional love and support they need throughout their lives. I pray they, and my own two girls, never question the love and support of their family and friends.

I'm supportive of Little Miracles!