The article was titled "what never, ever to say to a gestational surrogate" or something like that. (Read the article here http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4094921) Basically, the author said one of her friends stated on Facebook that she was a gestational surrogate and the embryo transfer would be taking place in two weeks. The Facebook friend was asking for good thoughts, prayers, vibes, love and support as she started this new journey.
The author went on to say that she read the comments people wrote and found one comment that sparked a lot of controversy. The comment was something along the lines of "and think of all the money you will get!"
This article made me reflect on all of the comments I've heard as I've been telling people about my decision to be a surrogate.
I wishing could say that all I've heard are positive comments filled with love and support. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. Yes, the majority have been graceful and supportive, however, there are a few that I'm remembering, thanks to the article.
Since I'm a teacher I felt it only right to tell my student's parents what is going on with me. I feel they have a right to know why Ms Shawnee may be a bit off every once in a while. Most of the parents were fantastic with lots of encouragement. One mom asked me pretty bluntly how much money I was doing this for. I honestly told her that I legally wasn't allowed to disclose any specifics of my arrangement. She looked at me and said "C'mon, you work at a private Christian daycare as a toddler teacher. You have two kids and your husband works two jobs. I know you need the money." I told her that it's not about the money and if I could see a way this would not affect my family at all I wouldn't have requested any compensation. I also said that I started all of this because of my friend and if she asked me to carry for her I would. This is about helping create a family, not about improving my financial status. I could think of a thousand other ways to do that and none of them include daily shots or subjecting my body and mind to this kind of roller coaster.
I think I finally got through to that mom, because she wished me luck and continues to ask me about my surrogacy.
I've had people so excited I'm doing this that they start crying. I've lost a couple of key people in my life because they think I'm making a foolish decision. I have had more than just the above mentioned mom ask about finances. I've even had one person ask me why the IP's couldn't just adopt.
I think my favorite response so far has been from my daughter when we told her what was happening. She responded with a "cool." So simple, so affirming.
If you've been reading my blog for even a short time, you know my reasoning and my heart behind surrogacy. If you know me at all, you know that I'm always there to help someone and to give it my best. I just don't think I'm that kind of a person... (Not trying to sound arrogant or conceited).
I know there are women out in the surrogacy world who are doing this to make money. There are agencies advertising to women that this is an "easy" way to earn an extra income for your family. My response to both is that surrogacy is anything but easy. There are lives at stake and in some cases, livelihoods at stake.
Surrogacy is an amazing gift that one can give, if she is able. I get that this isn't for everyone. I know there will be critics. There will be cases gone wrong. But, those are the exceptions, not the rules. I've never doubted my decision to become a surrogate. In fact, the individuals who try to make what I'm doing seem wrong or those who are unsupportive of me just strengthen me and my decision. I'm not going to let a few make me waver.
I'm supportive of little miracles!
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