A Couple of Things

It's Halloween and even though I don't usually celebrate this particular holiday I couldn't resist this "costume." After all, how often can a woman say she's pregnant with twins! 

Miracles are wonderful Things!

The End is in Sight

The end of the first trimester, that is! At 11 weeks 2 days, I can honestly say that I am looking forward to the next couple of weeks with a lot of anticipation. 

Why anticipation, you may ask? Good question. For starters, the start of the second trimester usually signals the end of some of the less than desirable pregnancy symptoms. Ah, I can picture it now... Waking without nausea, desiring food prior to 3 pm, energy... Yeah, I'm definitely anticipating the end of this trimester!

As noted, I have quite the appetite after 3 pm, but really not able to handle much more than bananas, yogurt, and soup prior to that. Solids are not my thing right now, unless its for dinner. I've noticed that I am enjoying dinner way more than before, for the most part. There are still some foods that I just can't do, no matter what time or how they are prepared. Cream of something soup. Definitely off limits. I'm guessing that one may hang around for the entire pregnancy by the way it hasn't eased up yet.

With the second trimester will come more growth for the babies which will mean more back pain. Yes, I've got a bit of back pain. After my work day and my attempts at dinner or laundry my back has had it! Think about it: my back was used to my former shape and in the past few weeks I've gained a belly where the babies are growing. My back now has to compensate for the added growth in my front. It makes sense, it you think about it. The more my tummy grows with the babies, the more the strain on the back as it tries to figure things out. 

I've also got a few other things to be thankful for the first trimester coming to an end: this is the commencement of the host of medicines I've been taking! The pills, tablets, shots, and suppositories are almost done! This last week I've been tapering them according to the doctor's orders and I should be done with them in the next few days! Oh, my legs are so excited, as is my stomach and other parts of my body not yet mentioned (use your imagination!).

Anyway, I'm still doing well. The babies are also doing well, as far as I can tell. From what I've heard, B & R are well, as are my little munchkins and hubby. Autumn is definitely here and we are enjoying the fruits Minnesota has to offer this time of year. Life is good!

Excited for little miracles!

Twin Twists

Lately, the morning sickness has been decreasing. However, last night it came back with a vengeance and hasn't given up yet. It also brought a couple of friends with it: light-head and near-fainting.

After doing some research (aka consulting the google and webMD) these two new symptoms are fairly common with twin pregnancies. Oh joy.

Apparently, remedies include keeping hydrated (no problems there), sitting as much as possible, not standing or changing positions rapidly, and increasing my fat and protein intake. 

My diet has changed a little this past week. Instead of craving red meats, I've been craving fruits and some cheeses. Don't get me wrong, I still could eat a Chipotle steak burrito every day, but before and after that I want kiwi, peaches, bananas, grapefruit, etc.

Apparently, these babies need some crazy balance of red meat and fruit. Hmm. That might be a challenge. Maybe I'll start making smoothies again and see if a smoothie a day helps things out.

All of that to say, I'm having a very low-key day. Lots of sitting or reclining, books and craft projects with my kids that don't require much out of me (clay bead making, coloring) and some amazing help from my wonderful husband.

I've learned to do whatever I can when I can do it and let unimportant things go. It's not a bad way to live, really. My house doesn't have to be perfect, foods don't have to always be made from scratch, a tv show here and there isn't going to prevent my kids from getting into college. As long as everyone in my house is healthy, happy, and loved I think I'm doing a darn good job. (Just don't drop by unannounced!)

Taking care of miracles!

10 weeks 5 days 

Cool Thing

Last night I was busy taking pictures for some theater publicity stuff. It was a busy time, trying to watch what was going on the stage through the lens of a camera. All of a sudden, I had to stop concentrating on the show. 

No, I wasn't in pain, nothing was wrong. I could feel something and I needed to concentrate to make sure it was what I thought it was. 

After a few minutes I realized that I was correct. I could feel the babies moving! They were going absolutely crazy in there together! Two two inch people were having a dance party to the music of the show, apparently. 

I was trying to remember when I could first feel my two girls move. I'm pretty sure it was closer to the 16-20 week place, but hey, there was only one in there at those times. This time there's double the kids! 

They obviously aren't strong enough yet to feel them from the outside (no hands on the belly, yet, please!). That should be in about 10ish weeks, if I remember correctly. Of course, this is a totally different game here, with twins, but still, babies need strength to kick through a stomach!

Miracles are a lot of fun!

Happy Doctor Appointment

This morning was my 10 week check and ultrasound. I was so excited for this appointment and couldn't wait to see the babies!

Shawn was able to come with me after all, which was a great thing. We were quickly checked in, I was weighed and measured (I'm up two pounds). Then, the doctor came in and asked how I'm doing, how's the nausea, and if I had any concerns. She also asked if B & R were coming. When I said no, she saw the phone in my hand and asked if I was going to FaceTime them. Well, yeah!

Shawn called B and asked if B was in a good place to FaceTime the appointment. Shawn put B through and B was able to watch the entire ultrasound!

Shawn attempted to FaceTime with R, however, one of the connections wasn't great, so we had to settle for videoing parts of the ultrasound and sending it that way. Shawn also text R with some of the info, so R was a part of the appointment as well.

All of that to say the babies are great! They were moving all over the place and really gave us a good show! Their heart rates are 164 & 169 beats per minute which is perfect for 10 week old babies. They are measuring at 9.5 weeks and 9.4 weeks, again perfect for where they are gestationally.

Everything is going so well and I couldn't be happier. I brought pictures to work and was able to show everyone that, yes, I really am carrying two babies. My coworkers are so excited and can't wait to find out their genders!

Miracles make me smile. :-)

Two different pics of the babies at 10 weeks.

**update**

I knew as soon as I hit publish I would hear from the clinic. I was right! 

Can I get a big "Woo Hoo!" I have my protocol for weaning off of the meds! That's just the cherry on top of my sundae (yum, sundae... With bananas and whip cream and hot fudge and nuts... Sorry, pregnant hormones talking here.) 

Articles and Opinions

I read an article today in the Huffington Post (I know, not the most creditworthy of publications) and it caused me to stop and think. Let me tell you about the article first.

The article was titled "what never, ever to say to a gestational surrogate" or something like that. (Read the article here http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4094921) Basically, the author said one of her friends stated on Facebook that she was a gestational surrogate and the embryo transfer would be taking place in two weeks. The Facebook friend was asking for good thoughts, prayers, vibes, love and support as she started this new journey.

The author went on to say that she read the comments people wrote and found one comment that sparked a lot of controversy. The comment was something along the lines of "and think of all the money you will get!" 

This article made me reflect on all of the comments I've heard as I've been telling people about my decision to be a surrogate.

I wishing could say that all I've heard are positive comments filled with love and support. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. Yes, the majority have been graceful and supportive, however, there are a few that I'm remembering, thanks to the article.

Since I'm a teacher I felt it only right to tell my student's parents what is going on with me. I feel they have a right to know why Ms Shawnee may be a bit off every once in a while. Most of the parents were fantastic with lots of encouragement. One mom asked me pretty bluntly how much money I was doing this for. I honestly told her that I legally wasn't allowed to disclose any specifics of my arrangement. She looked at me and said "C'mon, you work at a private Christian daycare as a toddler teacher. You have two kids and your husband works two jobs. I know you need the money." I told her that it's not about the money and if I could see a way this would not affect my family at all I wouldn't have requested any compensation. I also said that I started all of this because of my friend and if she asked me to carry for her I would. This is about helping create a family, not about improving my financial status. I could think of a thousand other ways to do that and none of them include daily shots or subjecting my body and mind to this kind of roller coaster.

I think I finally got through to that mom, because she wished me luck and continues to ask me about my surrogacy.

I've had people so excited I'm doing this that they start crying. I've lost a couple of key people in my life because they think I'm making a foolish decision. I have had more than just the above mentioned mom ask about finances. I've even had one person ask me why the IP's couldn't just adopt.

I think my favorite response so far has been from my daughter when we told her what was happening. She responded with a "cool." So simple, so affirming.

If you've been reading my blog for even a short time, you know my reasoning and my heart behind surrogacy. If you know me at all, you know that I'm always there to help someone and to give it my best. I just don't think I'm that kind of a person... (Not trying to sound arrogant or conceited).

I know there are women out in the surrogacy world who are doing this to make money. There are agencies advertising to women that this is an "easy" way to earn an extra income for your family. My response to both is that surrogacy is anything but easy. There are lives at stake and in some cases, livelihoods at stake. 

Surrogacy is an amazing gift that one can give, if she is able. I get that this isn't for everyone. I know there will be critics. There will be cases gone wrong. But, those are the exceptions, not the rules. I've never doubted my decision to become a surrogate. In fact, the individuals who try to make what I'm doing seem wrong or those who are unsupportive of me just strengthen me and my decision. I'm not going to let a few make me waver.

I'm supportive of little miracles!

Oh, Hormones!

Oh, I've gotta love pregnancy hormones! The roller coaster of emotions, albeit mild emotions I'm experiencing. Still, emotions nonetheless.

I've had an irrational fear of my next ultrasound. On Tuesday, I will be exactly 10 weeks pregnant and will have another ultrasound to check to make sure everything is still going okay.

Unfortunately, I've had several friends who have recently had bad news at this ten week ultrasound. Either their babies didn't survive to this point or in cases of twins have been naturally reduced to a singleton. So maybe my fears haven't been all that irrational, just magnified because of my new knowledge.

For some reason, today I have had none of the worry or fear. I am very much at peace with this pregnancy and with whatever happens with the babies. I know everything will be okay. I haven't had any "bad" symptoms often associated with miscarriage. I'm still feeling about the same with the frequent morning sickness, light-headedness, and food aversions. Nothing has changed for me at all. I'm taking this as a good sign.

Gotta love these hormones!

One nice thing about the added hormones is the ability to need and enjoy the snuggles of my girls and hubby. My youngest woke up early from her nap today and wanted to cuddle with mommy. Me being the hormonally sensitive person I am, happily endulged her needs and enjoyed every minute of it! Kids grow up so fast and I've elated to enjoy as much of their young life as possible. Apparently the sense of touch is something I'm kind of craving right now. And what a good craving to have!

Alright, so enough of that. Hormones. Gotta love 'em.

I will be going to the ultrasound by myself this time. Quite the change from the last one when I had four others with me! Anyway, I told B & R I will attempt to FaceTime them during the ultrasound so they can see their babies again. If that won't work, I will video as much as possible and send it to them and give them a call after the appointment.

I'm looking forward to seeing the babies again and hearing their heartbeats. That's my favorite thing about pregnancy! 

Honestly, I'm looking forward to hitting the 10 week mark for another reason. Once the Clinic and Dr D get the info from the ultrasound they will send me a new protocol for weaning me off the meds! The end of shots is in sight! (My thighs are so excited to have only 16 shots left. The end of bruising is near!)

The hormones are also making me a little less "filtered" than normal. Yesterday, at my daughter's birthday party someone came up to me and said "I see you're getting a little pudgy." My response was rather blunt: "No, I'm not pudgy, I'm pregnant with twins." Seriously. Who tells someone else that they are getting pudgy? The dumb thing is that this person knows I'm pregnant with twins! Of course I'm going to have a bit of a tummy at ten weeks pregnant with twins! Who says stuff like that? And who in their right mind says stuff like that to a pregnant woman?!?

Ah, so much happening and so many emotions to be thankful for!

I'm thankful for small miracles. 

9 weeks 5 days (wearing tummy tucking maternity pants. Sorry, not the best pic)

Pregnancy Progress

Let's see... I'm 9 weeks and 1 day pregnant. This pregnancy is going by fast, it seems to me. I'm guessing if you asked B & R they would disagree. When you think about it, I'm almost a quarter of the way through this pregnancy. I'm guessing these babies will be born a bit before the 40 week mark, but I don't have a good feel for potential date yet.

Everything is going along well so far. I'm still not feeling baby movement yet, but that will come soon, especially with two of them in there. Without baby movement yet, there's not a lot to comment on, baby-wise. 

Pregnancy wise, I'm doing well. Still existing with nausea or morning sickness, food aversions, and lots of fatigue. Food cravings aren't extreme and they seem to change almost daily. I'm still favoring red meet over white meat. I really like lots of raw onions in my salads right now. All fruits are very happy things in my book (back to enjoying strawberries! Yeah!!!). Oh, and something totally new for me is my new appreciation of chocolate. I usually favor fruity candies, but lately I've been appreciating chocolates more.

One new thing I'm experiencing is some difficulty sleeping. Not just multiple bathroom trips, but I'm starting to have trouble finding a comfortable sleeping position. I tend to favor my left side, but whichever side I'm on I still have my heating pad to contend with.

Have I mentioned my heating pad? I'm still giving myself a daily progesterone shot. I've learned that after I give myself the shot it helps my legs to put the heating pad on the puncture site overnight. I sleep with a heating pad on my leg to give it maximum time to heat and thus absorb into the muscle and cause me less pain.

So, that's where we are right now. Next week will be another ultrasound, so I will have fun pictures to share.

I'm hanging out with the miracles!

Baby Brain and Letting Go

One of my coworkers has been enjoying laughing at/with me every day lately as the condition known as baby brain settles into my noggin. Yes, this is a very real condition and many pregnant women suffer from it!

Under normal circumstances, I would say that I have a very good memory. I can usually remember names and faces, messages from 30+ parents as they drop off their kids in the morning. As I chat with them I usually can recall the messages they requested I pass on to various teachers. I have our family schedule not only in my iPhone but also etched into my brain. I don't consider myself a scatterbrained person at all.

However, now that I am pregnant with large amounts of hormones running through my body, the brain is not always on the full-function mode. Hence my coworker's amusement.

I still remember most appointments and the majority of the parental messages passed to me, but some days I could not tell you what little Tara's mom asked me to tell Miss Julie. Whoosh, gone! Hole where that bit of information used to be! (It often comes back in a couple of hours, so it's not completely lost, just temporarily not accessible).

I most definitely see the humor in the situation and join in on the laughter. Enough people know I'm pregnant so they can all appreciate the situation as well.

Thankfully, the amazing hormones haven't reared their ugly head yet. I'm not at all weepy or impatient, but I have noticed that I am more appreciative of little things. I really love snuggles from a child, extra help with housework, or someone making just what I had been wanting to eat. It's the little things that mean a lot to me.

Speaking of little things, Shawn and I help with a high school's fall musical every year. This year, the school is doing Seussical, the Musical. Having not heard the music in a while, I found myself choking back tears during one of the rehearsals as the young man playing Horton sang "A person's a person, no matter how small." The first time I heard it was the evening after we found out I'm carrying twins for B & R. I was really excited about two babies, and then with that song, well, I was kind of a goner. Its a sentiment I have carried my whole life, and it never feels more real that when I'm pregnant. Very cool, Horton. (What was I saying about not having a lot of crazy hormones?)

Being firmly planted in the first trimester and with full-blown pregnancy symptoms going on (I'm living on Zofran, soup, and soda today) there are some things I have resigned myself to letting go of. I'm not a perfectionist, by any means, but I do strive to do things well. However, with low energy, an unstable stomach, and baby brain in full swing I have temporarily given up some things. Made from scratch healthy dinners have been replaced with take out or Trader Joe's "pop in the oven for 45 minutes" creations. My family's laundry is mostly washed, but a big chunk of it is still in a basket instead of neatly folded in appropriate dressers. And my daughter's birthday party next weekend has been reduced from my usual "made from scratch and practice decorating it the week before" cake to cupcakes and ice cream novelties that I just have to open the box and hand 'em out. And her theme? In the past we've done a huge theme with our front porch decorated with a queen sized pirate flag or two 8 foot tall castle turrets greeting guests as they enter. Not this year! We are going for the super generic "girl birthday" theme with pink and purple flowers. Oh, and the party is at a bowling alley so games not required! Score!

Letting go isn't a bad thing. Natalie isn't bothered by her generic themed birthday party. She loves flowers and bowling, so to her this is perfect. Thankfully, neither me or my husband have jobs which require us to wear business wear, so the fact that our shirts probably have been pulled out of a basket and given a squirt of wrinkle release isn't the end of the world. And my kids have been more than happy to eat chicken quesadillas and lasagna while mommy takes a break from cooking. It means I probably have time to snuggle with them as dinner is thawing in the oven instead of extra meal prep time in the kitchen. 

One humorous thing and I will wrap up this very random post. Today, as I was helping my 5 year old out of the car after church, she commented "wow, mommy. Your tummy really IS getting big!" Thank you, daughter dear. 

Good thing I believe miracles are worth all of this. After all, "a person's a person, no matter how small."

8 weeks 5 days with B & R's twins!

Well, That's a New One

I'm still feeling rather, oh, I don't know, intrigued by something that happened today. I was eating my lunch and enjoying it, when all of a sudden I had this feeling that I was going to be sick. I ran to the bathroom and sure enough, I lost my lunch. The strange part is once I put myself back together, I really wanted to finish the rest of my lunch. So it obviously wasn't something I ate.

The reason I was so intrigued by this is that for the past month and a half I've been nauseous to the point of Zofran and needing to take things easy. Today is the first time I've lost it. The funny thing is that I was feeling pretty good today on the nausea front. It just doesn't make sense. Feel good = praying to the porcelain god? Hmm...

I'm still crampy, still tired, achy back and hips (I can't wait to see how things are going to be when I'm huge!) so nothing has changed there. I know many women have horrible morning sickness and some even end up in the hospital due to it, so I'm really not complaining about my little issues. I'm just intrigued by it all.

Confusing little miracles (who apparently don't like school lunch tater tot casserole).

Feeding Frenzy

I was chatting with my husband and telling him about the eating habits I've recently developed. He was rather impressed with my crazy intake, so I thought I'd share it here, too. Mind you, this is what happens on a normal weekday. (It's even more amazing that I haven't gained any weight, yet!)

7:30-8 a.m. A big bowl of chocolate malt-o-meal. Yummy! Perhaps a banana if there's one available.

9-9:30 a.m. Blueberry bagel, plain. 

11:30 a.m. School lunch. Lately, I've been asking for a double portion of the veggies and fruit, and sometimes a bit more entree.

1:30 p.m. Fruit or veggies or chex mix or whatever sounds good.

6 p.m. Dinner of whatever sounds good. 

8 p.m. Whatever sounds good (usually just a little something.

I'm so amazed at the insanely large amounts of food I'm consuming. Not only that, but the short intervals between each food grouping is crazy, too! It's not like I'm constantly grazing, but by the time I eat at each interval I'm really hungry! Tummy rumbling, need something now kind of hungry!

My sweet tooth hasn't reared its head in about a month, so that's good for the babies. I do like the occasional sweet (caramel, sixlets, airhead, skittles, etc) I'm back to liking strawberries and I'm appreciating having that one back. 

A big thing I've noticed is that when I want a food it's a very specific food I want. For example, last night I wanted French onion soup. So, my loving husband went to a local restaurant and brought me back some soup. I don't remember having many of these specific cravings when I was pregnant with my girls, but these babies are very specific about what they want. :-)

Bon appétit, little miracles!

A Little Pudge

Wow, is a twin pregnancy way different than a singleton pregnancy! I've talked about the nausea (I'm officially down at my pre-pregnancy weight, thanks to the morning sickness) but over the weekend I've noticed that I'm officially got the pregnancy pudge. :-)

Granted, I definitely didn't have washboard abs to start with, but I  was not sporting the gut I have right now! Good thing I like maternity pants as they are super soft and stretchy and allow room for this new development. It's nice not being so constricted by my super cute non-maternity embroidered and studded pocket on the tush jeans. (Okay, so I am mourning my jeans just a little bit. I'll get over it.)

Speaking of maternity clothes, let me just wax eloquently for a moment about maternity shirts. Basically, there are a couple of different styles of maternity shirts. 1) The Tent. Anything that has a band, belt, or elastic right under the bust and flares out making whatever size your belly is appear to be full-term. 2) "Share Your Blessings." Also known as a deep v-neck. Seriously, we all know that with pregnancy you get a visit from the boob fairy, but why the stinkin' deep V? There are some things I jut don't want hanging out, pregnant or not. 3) The Quaker. Peter Pan collars, Laura Ashley lace, basically, or anything that looks like something your mom or grandma wore when they were pregnant back in the day. Yes, they still sell and make these. 4) Fashion Forward. Think boutique and big price tags. 5) Comfortable Casual. Extra long t-shirts, baggy items without a lot of buttons, elastic or belts. Shapeless bit of maternity wear staple.

At least most of it is designed for comfort, so that's a plus. I mostly stuck to easy, comfortable, and casual. The occasional V neck would come out, but that's why the cami was invented, at least for me. Cute, but comfortable is what I try to shoot for.

So, here ya go, my first belly shot, both a close up and full length. Not my most photogenic moments, but at least the moment is captured for posterity. Cindy Crawford I am not, but what do you expect when I'm experiencing morning sickness for two! 

 7 weeks prego with R & B's miracles

7 weeks 5 days twin baby bump. That's a whole lotta tiny babies in there!

Grow little miracles, grow!

The Joys of Early Pregnancy

Those wonderful scientists at Glaxo Smith Klein have my unending appreciation for developing Zofran. Without it, these early days of freakishly high hormones would have me completely out for the count. Morning (all day) sickness has been increasing daily, but thanks to my happy pills and a pile of crackers, I am functioning fairly well!

One thing I'm appreciating about morning sickness is the slight weight loss! Nothing dramatic, but hey, I'm not 22 anymore. Weight takes more effort to lose these years. A couple of pounds gone makes me pretty happy, especially when I realize that in the next six months I will be gaining a lot of weight, and not all of it will be babies! Lose it while I can, right?

Please believe me when I say I'm not trying to lose weight, it just happens during the first trimester for me. I am almost constantly munching on whatever sounds good at the moment to give me and the babies whatever nutrients we can get. Also, having a small bit of something in my stomach makes me less queasy. Today, my post lunch/pre-snack time munchies include mandarin oranges and broccoli with ranch dressing. Strange combo, I know, but as long as my stomach wants it I'm eating it! 

One slight humorous annoyance this morning happened while getting dressed. I attempted to put on a pair of jeans for work, but I was completely unable to button them! Not even just a little tight, the button and the hole had a good space between them! So off they went and on with the yoga pants! I'm not showing yet, but things are definitely getting tighter than I like to wear them!

Yesterday when I woke up, I informed my husband that my body pillow will be joining us in bed from now on. Oh, how my hips ached! So last night my big blue pillow made its way into bed with me and I'm please to report that I had no hip pain this morning! Good thing we have a bed big enough for the 3 of us! :-)

I think the only other thing I'm noticing about the early stage of pregnancy is how tired I get. I'm at work by 7 and stay until 2:45ish, go home in time to get my kindergardener off of the bus and then I usually give her some down time before she has to do anything. It's during this time that I try to sneak in a nap. The nap usually helps to get me to bedtime, but I will admit that I am usually ready to crash just as soon as I can. I recently stopped drinking my morning chai and am wondering if that could be causing some of the fatigue. If it is, well too bad. I know that too much caffeine (no one knows how much is too much) can lead to premature delivery, and as I'm carrying twins and my deliveries tend to be a bit on the early side anyway, I'm doing everything I can to help the babies develop as long as they can. :-)

I'm loving the round ligament stretching and the cramping. They tell me things are going well inside. Only a couple of times has it really hurt and then I just tell the babies to play nicely.

So, all of that to say things are going along just as they should. I'm enjoying the randomness of foods I seem to be eating these days. I'm not craving any one thing, but notice certain things sound good at various times. (For example, today I've had a plain blueberry bagel, chex mix, cantaloupe, broccoli chicken rice casserole, mandarin oranges, and broccoli with ranch. Strange, right? Oh, and I've washed it down with 75 oz of ice water). I can't wait to see what I eat this afternoon!

Fun little miracles!

Reactions and Responses

I knew when I signed up to be a surrogate that I would encounter all kinds of responses. You never really know what people's reactions are going to be until you meet them head on.

At first, I was very selective with who I told. A few close friends knew and that's about it. I wanted to surround myself with people I knew would support me. 

Closer to my first transfer Shawn and I told our families and more friends. We kind of expected some resistance from some people and we were prepared for it. We were not disappointed. Thankfully, we mostly found it humorous, but our decision had been made and a few questionable reactions were not going to change anything.

Now that I am actually pregnant with another couple's children, I can honestly say that I am still mostly amused with the varying  reactions to our news. 

Today, for example, one of my student's parents asked if I had the ultrasound and if we had a count of how many. I responded with "Twins!" and he heartily congratulated me and asked what the parents thought.

Another parent knows that I'm pregnant, and asked me how I'm doing. I told her pretty well, just battling major nausea with these two. She was quite taken aback and said "twins? Wow! Well, good for you!" I said yes, twins, and the parents are really excited for them. She had a look in her eye and asked what I meant. I said "I've told you that I'm the surrogate and I'm carrying for another couple, haven't I?" She gave me a long "nooo" and a "oh, that's nice." She quickly walked away.

Honestly, the negative reactions and the lack of reactions from some people do bother me a little, but not enough to make me regret my decision. I told my husband that honestly the people who aren't supportive of me are doing me a favor. I now know who I can count on and who really cares about me. I know who my true friends are because of all of this. It really is a blessing in disguise.

I haven't decided if I'm going to "come out" over a widespread area like Facebook or even what to do about my family Christmas letter and card. I will obviously be showing by the time we take our picture for it, and I usually recap the year's events for us all. My surrogacy journey has been a big part of my life this past year. I'm just not sure... 

All of this has taught me a lesson. I think that it is possible to be supportive of someone else's decision even if you don't agree with the decision. It's more about putting the other person's needs first and just loving the person for who they are. You don't have to love the decision or even agree with the decision, but remember there is a human being who needs people to come alongside them and care about them.

These little miracles have a long road ahead of them. They have 7 more months of me taking care of them and a lifetime with their parents to look forward to. From what I know of their parents, they will be given the unconditional love and support they need throughout their lives. I pray they, and my own two girls, never question the love and support of their family and friends.

I'm supportive of Little Miracles!

Good Things

Ah, things are looking up! There are several reasons for my happiness:

At my appointment yesterday I asked the doctor if I could have some Zofran. She immediately agreed! Morning/all day sickness and nausea miraculously disappeared! I've been great all day with the nausea completely gone!

I've been pretty careful about what I eat, staying away from foods that are gooey or exceptionally thick or just turn my stomach (yogurt, most chicken, fish, mushrooms). I've been majorly craving red meat and breads. When I looked up the red meat thing, I read that when carrying twins I need more protein than if I was carrying a single baby. Makes sense and I don't feel so bad for eating two slices of meatloaf at lunch! :-)

I have no idea what the bread craving is about, but I'm enjoying it while I have it! I do love my breads!

I read today that for someone of a healthy weight, such as I am, I should plan on gaining roughly 35 - 55 lbs during the next 7 months. Wow! That's a lot of weight! It should be interesting to see that on me! Bring it! This will be quite the challenge to put on for the babies and then take it off again after babies are born.

The final thing I am pretty happy about is naps. My girls have been wonderful and let me take a nap in the afternoon. These little naps help me make it to bedtime. Such a wonderful treat to take a nap!

I do have a lot to be thankful for. The babies are healthy and right on track, B & R are pretty pleased with the news of their babies, I'm feeling really good, and I have a loving and supportive husband and kids who make each day wonderful. 

And sometime in the not-to-distant-future we will have two miracles to celebrate!