I Just Don't Understand

Disclaimer: Tonight's post is just a way for me to express my feelings. Don't take it personally, don't read too much into it. Just know that I am trying to work thoughts and feelings out as I process new information. 

After a busy yet fun day, I received notice that someone pretty close to me and my family is really not okay with my situation. It came as quite a shock for me. I wasn't expecting to hear that this particular person was against my surrogacy. 

I'm absolutely saddened by this news. I was under the impression this whole time that this individual may not have understood my desire but was going to support me as a person. After hearing the news tonight, I'm not sure how this person is going to treat me or the rest of my journey as a surrogate.

I've lost others during this last year who aren't able to support me and my choice. I get that not everyone understands my desire to help another couple become a family. Surrogacy isn't for everyone.

However, to these individuals who claim to love me, I just want to say that these choices I've made aren't about them and how about if they just support me as me. They don't have to like what I'm doing, I'm not asking for labor support. What I'm asking is that they treat me like a person they claim to love and try keeping my needs in mind. Don't argue, bash, or hurt me with actions and words. I don't deserve that and it does no good. What are they wanting to accomplish by being unsupportive? I'm not going to undo this pregnancy. Like it or not, I'm pregnant with B & R's babies. Their negative opinion isn't going to change that. 

If they want to destroy a relationship over this, well, their loss. I think I'm a pretty decent person and if they don't want to be a part of my life they are going to miss out on some pretty fabulous events. 

I haven't changed my mind. I still know that I'm doing what's right for me. I'm learning so much about my beliefs, my thought processes, and my prejudices (don't judge, we all have them in some way or another). I'm content with my choice of which parents to pick (and yes, I looked at several parents, so I didn't just go with the first ones given to me.) I'm content with my decision to carry twins. I'm content with my overall decision to even become a surrogate. I'm okay with my choices. 

Thanks for letting me work all of that out. I'm glad I've got somewhere to vent or just figure things out. I'm also very thankful for the people in my life who ARE giving me the unconditional support I need. Thankfully, there are more who support me than not. I wouldn't want to do this without all of their care.

I'm supportive of little miracles!!