15 Weeks, Leg Cramps, and a Dance Party!

I can't believe I'm 15 weeks along! This pregnancy has flown by so fast! We are going to be holding these babies so soon...  I'm excited to meet B & R's little ones!

As I said in my previous post, I'm feeling really good. This continues to hold true as the nausea seems to be held at bay. I've been without Zofran for almost a week now, which is yet another milestone I'm going to celebrate! (Although there really wasn't anything negative with the Zofran, it's still one less pill to take.)

With my last two pregnancies I had nights of horrible leg cramps. They would wake not only me up but my husband up as well. Apparently, that is just one of the ways my body adjusts to pregnancy as I've been experiencing some mild cramps the past few nights. Nothing horrible, just enough to wake me up and stretch my legs until they go away. I guess I need more pickles, right B? 

As for the dance party, today I was giving one baby a bottle and rocking two crabby babies when I noticed movement. Woo hoo! I've been waiting for this ever since I received the positive pregnancy test. I love feeling the babies move, it's such an amazing feeling to know they are in there and okay. The dance party continued for a little over an hour, so I'm assuming that it is nap time now. All is quiet for now.

Getting excited about little miracles!

Feeling Good

Wow. Today has been great. For the first Sunday in I don't know how long I felt good enough to go to church. For the past month or so I've had horrible nausea and lightheadedness that I haven't been able to much of anything.

Today, I successfully made it to church and didn't even have to take a Zofran! Score a big one for me!

I'm not willing to say that I am completely nausea-free. I've been pregnant enough to know that each day can bring new symptoms and new experiences. But, I am optimistic enough to say that I think I may be over the worst of the nausea! 

As for the lightheaded stuff, from my experience, this symptom will probably linger throughout the pregnancy. I have more blood flowing throughout my system and if I get up too fast or change positions quickly the blood may not have time enough to get where it needs to go to keep me balanced. 

I am well experienced in the slow stand from a reclined position. It's quite humorous, really. Watching me get up from laying down in bed is even more amusing! I affectionately call it the "beached whale roll." I have to roll over to the edge of the bed with a half roll to sit where I stay for a minute or so and then a final stand. It gets even more hilarious the larger I get throughout the pregnancy.

All of that to say I'm feeling really good today. It's so nice to have an appetite back. My husband has noticed that he no longer gets to eat the second half of my meals and is missing the extra bites. :-) I'm feeling so good, I might bake some more bread! (And in case you are wondering, yes, I did have balsamic cukes and tomatoes with lunch today!)

Feeling good with small miracles.

14 weeks 5 days

It's Official

Officially a food craving! Monday, I ran to Noodles and Company on my lunch break. I needed a Cucumber Tomato salad and I needed it now. (Actually, I needed two salads, but who's counting!)

Tuesday, on my lunch break I ran to the grocery store for cucumbers, tomatoes, and onions. I made a large salad for dinner with lots of balsamic dressing. I made another one for my lunch the next day.

Wednesday and Thursday, it was the same thing. Salads with dinner and another to take for lunch.

I think five days of the same salad enjoyed at least 7 times can officially be labeled a craving. I probably will get more veggies tomorrow for yet another salad or four! B & R, start your garden!.These babies like cucumbers and tomatoes!

I've had several other short term cravings: tapioca pudding, anything Mexican, fried chicken, kiwi with whipped cream, and grapefruit, to name a few. These have come and gone in a matter of a few hours or a day. 

Aside from this crazy, fun craving, I celebrated my third day of uneventful morning teeth brushing. I've only had to take one Zofran a day for the past four days. I'm praying I'm past the worst of the nausea. We'll see in the next couple of days. Keep your fingers crossed!

Feeling good about small miracles!

Small Victories

This might not seem like a big deal to some, but to me this is huge: I was able to brush my teeth this morning without vomiting. Yeah, me! 

I am starting to feel a bit better the past couple of days. Yesterday, I was nauseous for about 40 minutes as I was getting ready for work. Thankfully, it went away before too long. Today, I've been slightly queasy, but everything has stayed down today! Score!

My energy is starting to come back as well. I had another student conference last night, then dinner with my girls and bed time for them. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go to bed as laundry needed to be done. After three loads, I went to bed. It feels so good to get something accomplished in the day. Granted, it's not a lot, but at least it's something.

Two nights ago I was in a baking mood (my form of nesting) so I made some Amish White Bread. Shawn made a comment that I should take a picture of the loaves in the oven and put it on Facebook. As I posted the pic, one of my friends made a comment about how cute that would be to announce a twin pregnancy. Hee hee hee. Obviously, he's not a close friend or he wouldn't have made the comment (I haven't said anything on Facebook yet). Shawn and I had a good laugh about it.

Anyway, I'm counting today's dental hygiene victory as a good sign that things are looking up! 

Small miracles are big victories.

Low-Key is Good For Me

I'm trying not to complain but today all of the nausea and lightheaded symptoms decided to rear their ugly heads. To be honest, these past few weeks have been exceptionally tough. There have been a few days throughout that have been absolutely horrible to get through. 

Yesterday was one of those days that I just plowed through because that's what you do when you have a family and responsibilities. The nausea started before I opened my eyes and didn't stop until I was back in my bed for the night.

Today, thankfully, the nausea is moderate (thanks to the Zofran working!), but the light headedness is crazy! Most of my day has been spent laying down to help the syncope not to become a bigger problem. Because of this I'm trying to take care of my kiddos in short increments, mostly from a couch, chair, or floor. So far, it's working. :-)

I do know this "fun" symptom is just due to hormones and increased blood flow that doesn't always get to when I need it to go. I've been told that this should start getting better over the next couple of weeks as my body figures out how blood should flow and to where.

As for the nausea, well, I'm praying for relief to come sooner rather than later. I would be perfectly happy to go without that one. The Zofran often helps with the crazy symptoms and I'm thankful when it works.

All in all, life is busy, despite whatever symptoms I may be experiencing physically. That's how life is when you have a family and kids and a job. That's life!

Before I take this week's belly picture, here's my disclaimer: I've been so nauseous this week that food hasn't been my friend. I'm eating what I can, when I can, but I've lost a bit of weight this week (about 2ish pounds). Because of the weight loss and the very small amounts of food I am eating the babies' bump isn't as pronounced right now. I can definitely tell the difference in my waistline, but didn't want anyone to think something is wrong with the babies with the bump seemingly less pronounced. 

According to my sources, the babies are about 3 inches each and about 1.5oz a piece. They will continue to grow every day and we will see definite growth in the coming weeks. Maybe this weight loss will help everyone see the babies growth even more in the coming weeks!

I'm resting with small miracles.

13 weeks 5 days

***Funny little thing I've noticed: even though my weight has gone down, my bust has increased. Ah, yes. The visit from the pregnancy boob fairy has occurred. Ah, the craziness of pregnancy!

Surrogate Friends and Fun

I don't know if I've mentioned one of my strongest surrogate supports: my Facebook group. I am a part of a "secret/closed" Facebook group made up almost entirely of past and present surrogates. These ladies are everywhere in the surrogacy process, from having a desire to be a surrogate to grand para several times the surrogacy and now retired. It's an awesome resource I have at my disposal.

One really great thing about this group of women is that almost all of the ladies are in the area. In fact, they are so close we are able to get together every once in a while.

Today was one of those days! Six of us met for lunch to socialize and support each other. One lady is now retired after being a 4 time surrogate, another is 8 months post partum and talking with the parents about a sibling, another will have her beta on Monday (but has been testing and it's showing a positive!), another 21 weeks with a boy, and 35 weeks with a boy. Three of the surros have carried multiple times, three of us were/are on our first. 

It is wonderful to be with others who know exactly what is going on, who have experienced what I'm experiencing, and can offer sympathy, support, or suggestions as needed.

The retired surro asked how I was doing with this pregnancy. I honestly told her that the morning sickness is still going strong and I'm living on Zofran. She carried twins twice and assured me things will get better.

We shared about our families and how they are handling our pregnancies. We talked about some negative reactions we have had (thankfully, we keep in touch through Facebook so we kind of know what's going on). I was able to ask questions that only they would know the answers to and not be judged for the questions.

After my wonderful lunch, I decided to shop for a few clothing items to fit my growing frame (maternity clothes!). Let's just say that my body was not ment for skinny jeans, especially my pregnant body. A definite no there. So, I'm still on the lookout for attractive and comfortable maternity pants. I have two pair of pants, but will obviously need a few more. With my last two pregnancies I wore scrubs four days a week and only needed a couple pair of maternity pants. With my current situation, two pants aren't going to cut it. :-)

Anyway, aside from nausea that refused to leave, despite taking Zofran every couple of hours, it was a great day. Shopping, spending time with my friends, and now at home with my family makes for a perfect Saturday 

I love spending time with miracles!

Celebrating!

Woo hoo! I'm celebrating! Today marks the first day of the second trimester of this pregnancy. 

I can hardly believe we are a third of the way through. Honestly, I kind of think we are more than a third of the way. I have a feeling the babies aren't going to wait until their due date to make their appearance. Nothing too early, but definitely not May 20th. 

Anyway, I'm glad today starts a new trimester. If my past pregnancies are any indication, I should be getting some (not all) of my energy back soon. As I didn't have morning sickness anywhere near what I'm currently experiencing, I have no idea when to look for the nausea to be gone. My OB suggests that I should be feeling better somewhere around the 16th week. Here's hoping...

One other notable thing about the start of the second trimester is that the risk of miscarriage decreases significantly. Schwoo, one less concern to have in the back of my head! It's not been a big worry, but it is something to consider with any pregnancy.

In case you are wondering, the babies are about 3 inches in length (crown to rump) and 1.5 ounces each. How cool is that! 6 inches of small people getting bigger every day!

Little miracles are so special!

Fun Times

I really love the reactions I get from people when I tell them about this surrogate pregnancy! Today was a prime example of fabulous reactions.

I went to a friend's in home jewelry party with my daughters. I knew half of the people present at the party. I was noshing on some amazing cheese (yeah, I'm really into cheeses right now. Goat, gruyere, cheddar, and Swiss are my current favorites) when I made a comment about how the babies are loving cheese right now. The consultant, whom I did not know, asked if I was pregnant. I said yes, with twins. 

She and other guests offers me a hearty congratulations. One lady said "Wow, you are about to double your children! Good for you!"

I responded with a light-hearted "Yeah, it will be great! But I'm not keeping them!"

This comment was met with many chuckles and some good natured comments. 

I said "Really. I'm not keeping them. I'm a surrogate and plan to send them home with their parents."

This announcement was met with dead silence. Finally, the consultant asked the hostess if I was serious and if she knew about this. My friend replied that yes, I was serious and yes, she knew about this. We all got a good chuckle out of this.

There are some fabulous things about being a surrogate. The amazing reactions of friends have been the best part for me.  I love knowing that I get to be a small part of helping create a family and fulfilling a couple's dreams. That's pretty cool and definitely outweighs the morning sickness, headaches, back pain, and dizziness. (The past 3 Sundays have been rough on me with all of the above. Some days are better than others. I'm keeping everything in perspective. It's all for a good reason!)

Small miracles are a lot of fun!

12 weeks 5 days and enjoying big sweaters!

A Day of Rest

By day I've been a Toddler teacher for the past couple of years. This past week my director approached me and said that she's noticing my pregnancy is definitely showing. She's concerned about how I will be able to handle the upcoming months with 7 30+ lb two years olds, half of which I am potty training. 

This is a very logical concern. After thinking about it for a moment I realized that yes, I will probably need assistance in my job as I get bigger. 

My director proposed that I change from a Toddler teacher to the teacher in our Infant 1 program. I would have 3-4 babies ranging in age anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months. They, in theory, are lighter than my toddlers and I should be able to sit with them and be off my feet a bit more.

I agreed to the change only to find myself in the Infant room the next day. Oh well. Crash course introduction to my new class.

I'm thankful to say that Thursday went rather well. I enjoyed my time with the babies and am glad to say things went really well with them. They present their own challenges, of course. Each baby has their own likes, dislikes, and preferences. I've been in their class a few times so I had some intro to them. (B & R - If I can handle 4 babies, you will be able to do two with no problems! I've got some great tips!)

After my 8 hour day with the babies I felt pretty good. The one thing I noticed is that even though the babies are much lighter than the older kids, the amount of times I had to lift them did cause me quite a bit of back pain. I'm hoping that I'm just not used to lifting anyone anymore, and that my back would get used to the repetitive lifting.

That being said, this morning I left for work by myself as my girls were having trouble moving. I met the parents of my new class and chatted with them for a few moments while the babies were being dropped off. 

And then my morning changed. My hubby sent me a message that Annalies was ill and I needed to come home. So, I've been home this morning snuggling my "Bug" as she fights whatever her little body is dealing with.

Honestly, this week has been such a busy week that it think it just caught up with her. I've had parent teacher conferences two nights, we had Natalie's conference with her kindergarten teacher, dance class, Natalie's birthday, I had a last minute staff meeting, school photos... Crazy! I think that Annalies was just tired and caught something, and perhaps she knew mommy could use a day off as well. And, as any parent or grandparent knows, there is nothing more relaxing and soothing than holding a snugly child, even if they are ill.

Anyway, my girls, the babies, and I are having a chill day at home. The girls are in jammies, I'm hanging out in yoga pants that still fit :-) and we are enjoying some Veggie Tales on the couch. 

It's pleasant hanging out with small miracles!

The Last and the First

It was a big day for me and the babies! I'll start with our Last.

Today marks the last day of first trimester medications! Yeah! No more daily progesterone in oil shots into my thigh, no more daily doses of estrogen tablets, no more progesterone vaginal suppositories... I'm DONE!!! Big time happy here!

As for our First, today was the first of many upcoming OB appointments. B & R picked me up and brought me to my appointment. I'm so glad they were there! What started out as fairly routine quickly turned into an adventurous appointment! Let me recap:

 Dr Wagner entered and introduced herself to all of us (yes, I've met her before, but B & R hadn't). She asked if I would be alright if we checked the fetal heart sounds right away because her ultrasound tech wanted to leave but the doctor wanted her to wait "just in case." I quickly hopped up on the table (I love listening to babies heartbeats!) and Dr Wagner started moving the Doppler over my belly. Hmm, where were the babies?

After several minutes of not finding any heartbeats, Dr Wagner cheerfully said "that's why I wouldn't let her go! You get an ultrasound!" And off she went to find the tech.

To be perfectly honest, my heart was sinking at that announcement. On one hand ultrasounds are fun as they give you a sneak peak to see what's going on inside. On the other hand, those silly dopplers are pretty good at picking up heartbeats. Could something possibly be wrong with the babies? We should have heard them by now!

Thankfully, I only had a minute or two to wait and internally freak out. (I think I kept my composure during all of this.) We were quickly led to another room, I was reclining on a table and warm goo was quickly spread across my tummy (my OB always heats her gels. Just one thing I love about my clinic!). The ultrasound wand thingy was quickly placed on the goo across my tummy and, schwoo! There were two very active babies on the screen! Ahh! Yes!

She checked the heart rates (153 & 167 beats per minute), measured them (both right on track at about 2 inches each crown to rump, dating 12 weeks gestation and 12 weeks 1 day gestation), and took a few other measurements of the "Twin Peaks" and the placenta.

Back in the room, Dr Wagner talked with us about various tests that are possible to run at different times of the pregnancy, what the upcoming doctors visits look like until birth, answered all of our random questions, and then talked to us a bit about twin deliveries.

After we left I think all three of us were pretty excited. It's fabulous and comforting to know that the babies are healthy and on the right track. We all feel very comfortable with Dr Wagner and appreciate her approach to pregnancy and labor/delivery. The next six months are going to fly by!

Now, I need to totally be a girl for a minute. I was kind of giddy when Dr Wagner pulled out a chart of healthy weight gain during a pregnancy and said "I think I would put you just in the underweight category, so I would like you to gain between 35-50 healthy pounds during this pregnancy." Holy cow... Did she just say "underweight?" I've NEVER been called underweight in my life! Healthy, yes. Curvy, often. Athletic, sometimes. But underweight? Whoa nelly! The body conscious magazine reading woman in me felt pretty good about being classified as anything but "healthy" or even "overweight." Seriously, what woman would protest about that one? 

There is a flip side to this. Did you hear how much weight I'm supposed to be putting on? 35-50 lbs. My 6 year old doesn't weigh 50 lbs! That's a lot of baby weight to accumulate! I think I may have a challenge on my hands. 

In case you are wondering, I gained 11 lbs with Natalie and 18 lbs with Annalies. Not on purpose, it's just how my body decided to do things with my girls. And yes, I did eat while pregnant. Boy, did I ever! With Natalie I craved crinkle cut fries from Culver's and Burger King Whoppers. Annalies' I craved watermelon and loaded baked potatoes. These babies are changing my diet by the day, so I can't really nail down a specific craving yet. I still have a list of foods I can't eat, along with having to eat light foods prior to mid afternoon, but that's about it-food wise.

So, that was our day. I had fun, and judging from all of the acrobatics we witnessed on the ultrasound, the babies enjoyed it, too.

Just a glimpse of little miracles.

The last of the first trimester drugs- progesterone in oil (shot), progesterone suppositories (yellow capsules), and estrogen tablets (blue tablets.) These were just a small part of my daily med routine for the past 4 months.

Are We There Yet?

C'mon second trimester! I'm anxiously waiting for it and the morning sickness relief it hopefully will bring!

Yes, the "can't eat until sometime after 3pm" is hanging on for dear life. Today, the nausea didn't let up at all. When my hubby asked me what I'd like for dinner (we were on the road traveling so our choices were somewhat limited to reataurants with drive thrus) my response was "nothing... But I'll have some mashed potatoes and soup." Ah, Zofran, if only you'd kick in! It's taking the edge off, but lately it hasn't been giving me total relief. (Thankfully, everything stayed down tonight.)

I honestly don't have a lot to complain about, not that I'm looking for something to complain about! I'm pretty excited to have my first OB appointment tomorrow. B & R are here this weekend so they can come along and see what's going on with their babies. It should be a fun experience for us all. As I've never been pregnant with twins before I'm curious to see what is different with the appointments. I'll have to post about it later.

Anyway, life and this pregnancy is moving along. The celebrated end of all the meds is officially tomorrow night and I'm sure I'll do a bit of a happy dance to mark the occasion. Well, maybe not a happy dance, but I'm sure I'll have a really big smile on my face as I pack it up and properly dispose of it all. It's the little things, right?

I love celebrating little miracles.

11 weeks 5 days

I Just Don't Understand

Disclaimer: Tonight's post is just a way for me to express my feelings. Don't take it personally, don't read too much into it. Just know that I am trying to work thoughts and feelings out as I process new information. 

After a busy yet fun day, I received notice that someone pretty close to me and my family is really not okay with my situation. It came as quite a shock for me. I wasn't expecting to hear that this particular person was against my surrogacy. 

I'm absolutely saddened by this news. I was under the impression this whole time that this individual may not have understood my desire but was going to support me as a person. After hearing the news tonight, I'm not sure how this person is going to treat me or the rest of my journey as a surrogate.

I've lost others during this last year who aren't able to support me and my choice. I get that not everyone understands my desire to help another couple become a family. Surrogacy isn't for everyone.

However, to these individuals who claim to love me, I just want to say that these choices I've made aren't about them and how about if they just support me as me. They don't have to like what I'm doing, I'm not asking for labor support. What I'm asking is that they treat me like a person they claim to love and try keeping my needs in mind. Don't argue, bash, or hurt me with actions and words. I don't deserve that and it does no good. What are they wanting to accomplish by being unsupportive? I'm not going to undo this pregnancy. Like it or not, I'm pregnant with B & R's babies. Their negative opinion isn't going to change that. 

If they want to destroy a relationship over this, well, their loss. I think I'm a pretty decent person and if they don't want to be a part of my life they are going to miss out on some pretty fabulous events. 

I haven't changed my mind. I still know that I'm doing what's right for me. I'm learning so much about my beliefs, my thought processes, and my prejudices (don't judge, we all have them in some way or another). I'm content with my choice of which parents to pick (and yes, I looked at several parents, so I didn't just go with the first ones given to me.) I'm content with my decision to carry twins. I'm content with my overall decision to even become a surrogate. I'm okay with my choices. 

Thanks for letting me work all of that out. I'm glad I've got somewhere to vent or just figure things out. I'm also very thankful for the people in my life who ARE giving me the unconditional support I need. Thankfully, there are more who support me than not. I wouldn't want to do this without all of their care.

I'm supportive of little miracles!!