Long Nights and an Emotional Day

The bed rest thing is going rather well, overall, I'd say. Right now, I have completely surrendered control over my house to a few well intended individuals and the dust bunnies that are taking residence. I keep telling myself that this is just for a season and its not a big deal. After all, I'm doing a very important job by growing two babies! 

The hardest part of the pregnancy and bed rest right now seems to be the nights. The babies like me constantly drinking a lot of water and changing positions semi-frequently. Trying to drink a ton of water while sleeping doesn't mesh. The frequent bathroom trips definitely makes sleep a bit more elusive as well. 

The other challenge I'm having at night is when I do fall asleep and am not moving for a while, it makes the babies cranky. Last night I was awakened to a very mad Brady who did not like my sleeping position and decided to protest for a couple of hours. I told Shawn that it felt like Brady was trying to push himself out of my leg! Ouch! (At least he wasn't trying push out through the cervix this time!) After a couple of bathroom trips, a huge glass of water, and several changing of sleeping positions over the course of a couple of hours I was finally able to get back to sleep again. Ah, sleep! I'm ready for my nap now! (And I will be taking one today, there is no question about that!)

The babies seem to be more comfortable today. Brady isn't pushing on anything this morning, so that helps a ton (man, that hurt last night!) The funny thing about last night is that when Brady was pushing on me and protesting whatever he was mad at, Cohen was reacting to Brady's movements. It was like Brady woke Cohen up and Cohen was trying to tell him to settle down so he could go back to sleep. Cohen made a couple of big moves during Brady's protesting, and I am thankful that Cohen was a bit lower than normal and not clobbering me in the ribs last night. :-)

I will honestly say that a lack of sleep probably isn't helping me today. I'm pretty much an emotional mess and have been building toward this all week. Wednesday night, a friend of my dad's who I have known for most of my life passed away rather tragically. I still don't know many of the details, I just know that I woke up yesterday asking Shawn if I really did get a late night phone call and if Marco really is gone. Ugh, not fun. 

The other contributing factor to my emotional mess is that today is the anniversary of my dad's passing. He and I were really close and I'm struggling with his passing today (hormones + emotions = big mess!). When my dad was diagnosed with cancer and he took a leave from work we talked every day. Any time he or I had something medical going on we would talk about it (he loved medical things as much as I do.) With everything going on with me right now and over the past year or so, I miss chatting with him about all of this. He would love to see the ultrasounds of the babies and hear about random procedures (as long as I didn't get too specific. I'm his daughter, after all!). Ugh, I am so not an overly emotional person, so these kinds of emotions are something I'm not used to dealing with. I'll be better tomorrow and these crazy emotions will mostly be a thing of the past. 

Anyway, I've currently got my big glass of water and the TV remote, Annalies is playing a matching game next to me, my mother-in-law is attacking my house as I type, my nausea is almost completely gone, and I'm doing all I can to help these little miracles grow. 

The Fleetwood family

A Ticking Time-Bomb

I think if you ask any pregnant woman they will tell you that at the end of their pregnancy they feel like a ticking time-bomb. We all know the baby or babies have to come out eventually, it's just a matter of time before they decide when to come out. And us being adults have a hard time waiting for them to make the decision, as it really is their decision and not ours (for the most part.)

This pregnancy is a bit different as of the last couple of weeks. As we saw on the ultrasounds a couple of days ago, Brady must really want out as he is so low and even had his hand above his head for a time! Now it's just a matter of convincing him to stay put with his brother for a few more weeks!

With Brady being so low, he is causing some discomfort for me in my lower pelvis. Cohen was adjusting himself a lot yesterday (hopefully to a head-down position) and as I learned this past weekend, that causes discomfort as well. Cohen seems to have settled down in whatever position he is currently in so my left side is feeling better. Now, if he could just help talk his brother into a more restful, higher position we'd be great!

Since Monday when the doctor put me on bed rest, I've been following her directions and staying down. I get up to grab some food and to use the bathroom, and aside from that have been in my bed or on the couch. 

I woke up yesterday after a good night's sleep and had a good morning. Unfortunately, after lunch I developed a tummy thing where I was very nauseaus and struggled to keep food and water down. I'm a bit better this morning, with the nausea not as bad today as it was yesterday. We will see how things go as the day goes on and as I continue attempting food and water.

Yesterday, I gave myself the second steroid shot to mature the babies' lungs. It went well and barely hurt at all, I am pleased to say. My girls are amused by all of mommy's bandages right now. Monday gave me two shots and two band aids, the steroid in my fanny and the tetanus diphtheria pertussis in my arm (there is some evidence showing that  the babies get some protection if the pregnant woman gets it while still carrying the babies.) Of course, all caregivers for the babies need to have their shots current as well so they don't expose the babies to anything bad before the babies are immunized. But, that's not a conversation for me to have as the babies will be out and about with their family at that point and it will be the parent's decision. It's just a subject I feel very strongly about. :-)

With me being on bed rest for real, I've turned over my house to others. Honestly, it was easier letting go than I imagined it would be. I've got a new job now: growing healthy babies. This full-time job is more than enough to occupy me without concentrating on housework and a bunch of the day to day things. Shawn's doing a great job of taking care of me and the girls. He's picking up a lot of the slack of meals, dishes, and laundry for me. My father and mother in law come over to bring Natalie to her weekly dance class and has offered to help with other cleaning things. Our girls are doing a great job of picking up their toys when prompted. Annalies still thinks it's her job to sweep the floors and Natalie has started dusting. So, lots of help from wonderful people are keeping things running around here!

I'm praying for an easier day stomach-wise and less pressure on my pelvis today. Annalies has decided that today is a great day to watch PBS in bed with me, and I'm not objecting. I've got yogurt, cereal, applesauce, water, and sprite on my bedside table, so I'm set for the morning. (Here's hoping it all stays down today.)

Anyway, I am definitely feeling like a ticking time-bomb, not knowing when these babies are going to break free. I'm doing all I can to keep them inside, healthy, and growing, but, as everyone knows, babies often have their own agenda. Let's see if I can convince them to spend more time with me where I can help them grow to be healthy little miracles. 

Bed Rest, Part 2

Today was my 28 week check up. I am so thankful that B & R were able to come with me! We all enjoyed seeing the boys and commenting on their sizes and percentages. I was close with my guesses of almost 3 lbs each! I believe she said Cohen is 2 lbs 12 oz, and Brady is 2 lbs 8 oz. Their heads are still measuring a bit bigger than their gestational age: both are measuring right around the 30 week mark. Not huge, by any means, but just a bit bigger than what we know to be their actual age. All the other measurements were pretty much right on track.

Let me back up just a bit: this weekend I was feeling crampy on my left side, mostly. It felt like Cohen was trying to break through my belly. Well, it turns out that Cohen was actually flipping himself around. He is no longer head down, or even transverse. Nope, the little guy really wants to be breach. In fact, he is so high up, his head is under my ribs, which made for an interesting ultrasound! So, the little guy got his way this time. We will see if he stays that way for good or if he decides to flip again.

Brady, on the other hand, is still head down and has been making it difficult for me to walk for the past 36 hours. I told my husband that it seems like Brady dropped even lower than before. (It was even on one of my notes to ask the doctor about!)

After the fun ultrasound pics of the boys, the tech needed to measure my cervix. Remember, it was pretty short a month ago and all of the measurements since then were showing improvements or stabilizing of the measurements. Well, today, I was measuring 1.09 cm at the longest. Yikes! That's not what we hoped to hear.

This measurement prompted the doctor to do a check and that's when she discovered that I'm 2 cm dilated. Double yikes!

Dr Wagner called B & R into the room and she discussed with us what this entails. Basically, I am now on bed rest, not just work and home restrictions. I don't have to be laying down, but I'm now only allowed to get up a couple of times a day for 10 minutes, plus bathroom breaks. 

She gave me a shot of steroids today to boost the babies' lungs and I have another one for tomorrow. If I'm still pregnant at 32 weeks we will do the shots again.

She talked to all of us about what we can expect: if the babies are born before 30 weeks I'll have to be transferred to another hospital where they are better equipped to handle tiny babies. If the babies can wait until after 30 weeks to make their appearance then I'll still deliver at my current hospital and we'll take it from there.

As I said before, I'm so glad that B & R were at this appointment. Purely from a selfish reason, I'm so glad that I didn't have to call them with this news (I usually need some time to process info and was afraid I'd mix some of the info up.) It was also great that with B's medical background, questions were able to be asked and answered in a logical, rational manner. The practical provider side just seemed to take over, which was helpful.

I'm way more calm now than I was three hours ago. Honestly, fear for the babies' safety and an overwhelming sense of helplessness about the situation were the feelings I was having. After having some time to talk things through with B & R over lunch and a couple of phone calls with Shawn, I'm more at ease with this situation and ready to not stress over it. All along I've been doing whatever I can to help the babies so far and will continue to do so until they decide to make their appearances. 

I still have many questions that need answering, but Shawn and I will start to work through those tonight and handle them as they come up. Some of the big ones are what to do about Annalies (keep her home or send her to daycare, and if daycare, how to get her there and back), school conferences for Natalie, and other logistical questions to keep our family functioning. 

This isn't how any of us expected this pregnancy to go, but we all are just going to make the best of it and pray for healthy little miracles to stay where they belong a bit longer!

Cohen's cute profile (Brady was too low to get a good pic today).

A Bit of Random

I don't have much to report today. After a lot of contractions and Cohen showing off his stretching ability all day yesterday, we had dinner with B & R, who are in town for another OB appointment this week. Just the way Cohen was angling himself made sitting, standing, and laying rather uncomfortable for me for a huge part of the day. Usually it's Brady who is beating up on my insides, I guess Cohen wanted to show off for his parents. Today the boys are behaving themselves much better for me. I'm able to sit without contorting myself too much today.

I told Shawn this morning that the realization that I'm pregnant but not having to prepare for a baby is setting in and rather surreal. Having been pregnant twice and going through all of the preparations to get ready for a baby it is a bit of a relief to not have to get the nursery ready, pick out small clothes, figure out how to safely cram another car seat into my car, and all of the rest that would be an issue this time around. Like I said, it is a bit of a surreal feeling. Not bad, definitely surreal. Surrogacy hitting home, I guess.

I do, of course, have some things to do to get ready for the babies' delivery. Arranging family and friends to help with possible/probable spur-of-the-moment childcare (done), writing out the girls' routine and permission slips for the aforementioned caregivers (done), packing a bag for me and Shawn for our hospital stay (pending), creating a list of people to call when I do end up going to the hospital (in process), and probably a few other things I'm just not thinking about right now. That's okay, I've got time to keep adding to my lists. I like my lists. :-)

I'm still having issues with foods. I woke up this morning really wanting cream cheese blintzes with strawberries and whipped cream. Shawn said he'd bring some home for me tonight after he's done with work. :-) I also seem to be on a fish kick, having had fish four times in the last week alone. Thankfully, fish is good for me and really good for the babies as it's loaded with DHA, so I'm surely not complaining about that one. One of the prenatal vitamins I've been prescribed has added DHA, but that particular vitamin makes me quite sick, so I've been taking a different one with not as much DHA with my OBs approval. (Finding a prenatal vitamin that doesn't make you ill is a challenge a lot of women face. I went through five different vitamins before I found one that worked with my 2nd pregnancy!) Other than the random blintzes and fish, I still could care less about foods.

I'm so relieved that Tuesday marks the start of the third trimester with week 28, and the chances of the babies' survival jumps to a whopping 80% or something like that. The survival percentage continues to increase with each passing day and week, and with the effacement scare we had a few weeks ago it is such a relief that the boys are continuing to thrive right where they are supposed to be.  

My girls are getting excited to meet the babies. They both know that we aren't taking them home with us and seem to be okay with that. Natalie has repeatedly asked if she can come to the hospital to see and hold the babies. We have been reassuring her that yes, she can see the babies after they are born, we will just ask their parents when they are ready for a visit. I know she will need that visit to give her sense of closure. Annalies, I think, just needs to see the babies outside of my tummy as that seems to be her big thing. Almost daily she lifts my shirt, looks at my expanding belly and says "yup, babies are still in there!" She then gives my tummy a pat and goes on her merry way. 

I've just realized that for someone who didn't have a lot to report today, I've managed to write a lot! I'll have more to write about later this week as we meet with my OB and have another peek at the boys. I'm curious to know how big they are and if either of them have hit the 3 lb mark! Some days I feel just huge with babies (or anytime I need to roll over in bed!), other days I think I look rather small for carrying twins. We will see how they are doing this week!

Spending time with small miracles.

27 weeks 5 days

A Good Doctor's Appointment (for a change)

Today was my weekly check-up with my OB. According to her everything looks great. She's still going to have me come in next week for a check, and we will do a growth check (ultrasound) on the boys as well. She will also check the cervix by ultrasound at that visit and make sure things are as they should be.

She does want me to continue the progesterone shots, darn it. Even though there isn't strong evidence to continue them, she wants to err on the side of caution and just do the darn things. Other than injection site pain, there really aren't negative side effect of them for me or the babies.

The babies still look great. No ultrasound today, but we were able to listen to their heartbeats. Cohen's heartbeat is 150 beats per minute. She had a bit of trouble finding Brady's heartbeat, but I told her that the little guy is really low and then she was able to find it. His heartbeat is 140 beats. Both boys are still hanging out head down and I'm praying they stay that way. We've already noticed that they definitely have minds of their own, but I'm hoping I win on this one. :-)

Everything is looking good with me. My blood pressure is still fabulous, 116/68, and my weight is good (I'm not telling what that is!) Let's just say that I've gained 17 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. It's a little on the light side, but the babies and I are healthy so no worries there. My belly is still measuring appropriately for twins, so everything looks good. 

Me at almost 27 weeks. (Photo by Annalies, 2.5 years) 

I've noticed that some days I overdo it a bit and then pay for it in the evening. I'm still learning how much I need to limit my activity during the day. There's so much I want to do or think I should do and then once I do it my back starts hurting or I'm exhausted by dinner time. I'm definitely not as active as I was even a month ago, but I'm also a lot bigger with babies than I was a month ago. Serves me right for doing more than just a doctor's appointment today. I can usually handle doing one or two things outside of the house a day, but once I try to do more than just a doctor's appointment, a meal at a restaurant, or a quick trip to the store I'm in for a long night. I will learn... eventually!  

Last weekend I splurged online on a couple of DVD collections and I'm so excited that they arrived today! The addition of the movies and a few books that I recently purchased for my iPhone should help me stay down more. I have started a list on Amazon of other movies I would like to get, so once I go through my new flicks, I have some others to order and hopefully they will help keep me down. 

I've still got a ton of sewing to do for my cousin's wedding, and I suppose I really should be working on that as well. It's a lot of work, but at least its hand sewing that I can do while reclining. 

             Up to my neck in turquoise tulle and wedding dresses! (Photo by Natalie, 6 yrs)

Anyway, the doctor's appointment was great, the babies are busy and very active, I'm tired and enjoying a little Judy Garland, Ray Bolger and John Hodiak as I settle down for the night. Good night, little miracles! 

A New Size

This week marks a pretty important milestone in my pregnancy and in my life. (And yes, I'm being overly dramatic. Just go with it.) I am no longer able to comfortably fit into several of my "regular" medium maternity shirts. I had to purchase large shirts to fit over this amazing belly of mine! Wow, I haven't seen this sized belly on me ever! And don't get me started on pants... Let's just say that in the past two weeks my selection of maternity pants has dwindled. I'll worry about (and shop for) that issue another day.

If you think about it, my largest baby was 6 lbs 1 oz and my smallest was 5 lbs 2 oz. That is just baby weight. Who knows how much amniotic fluid, placenta, and all of that other stuff that goes along with a baby weighs. 

At my last visit a week and a half ago, Brady and Cohen were weighing in right around the 2 lb mark each. I would bet big bucks that they are around 2 1/2 lbs each, and since they are both in their own sacks, that means there is double the amount of everything going on in there. So, me being oh so amazing at math (yeah, right!) is guessing that there is over 5 lbs of baby I'm carrying, plus all of the other goodies they come with to grow them which should equal more baby stuff around my mid section than I've ever had! Hence the need for large sized maternity shirts.

I'm really not upset by this at all. I'm feeling pretty good, other than tired, and it's not like I'm waddling around saying "get these kids out of me" or anything like that. To know that this growing belly of mine is housing, feeding, and nurturing two tiny babies is something I'm in awe over. How cool is it that my body is able to do something so amazing! 

It was fun shopping at my favorite maternity consignment store for just a few minutes to pick out some new shirts. (Honest, I was in and out in under 15 minutes!) Of course, most women would say that a new shirt or outfit or accessory does wonders to improve the mood and make you feel good about yourself. It was one of the highlights of my week to be able to get a couple of shirts that fit. And now my burgeoning belly has a bit of room to grow with my new shirts!

As I said earlier, I'm feeling really good. I do appreciate that most of the contractions I was feeling a couple of weeks ago have slowed down to just a couple every night. I can handle a few contractions, rather than a few hours of contractions every day. Much better for all involved!

I'm still getting strange cravings at random times. Last night I really wanted a filet o fish without tarter sauce and a shamrock shake. Random, right? I have no idea where that particular craving came from. I'll give you three guesses what I had for lunch today... Man, that fish was fabulous! I totally could have had three sandwiches, but I know better than that and just enjoyed one today. (Lent is coming up and I see more filet o fish in my future!)

I do feel a little bad that when I'm not craving anything, I honestly could care less about what it is I want to eat. This can be frustrating for others, like my husband, who are trying to help and I can't tell them what I want to eat. I feel like "make something, I'm sure I'll eat some of it." I'm really not caring a whole lot about food these days. (Yes, I am eating a pretty balanced diet, I just don't care what it happens to be). Here's hoping I get a few more cravings in the next couple of months to help out on the food selection process.

While I'm on the subject of food, I do have a new adversion: tomato sauce. Holy heartburn, batman! I've tried having pizza a couple of times, or some kind of pasta with a red sauce and boy, do I pay for it later! So, now I'm avoiding red sauces. No big deal for me, but just something to note. I don't think I'm going to miss it.

That's where I am this week. I've got two active kiddos inside me playing kick the can or some other activity like that right now. We are expecting a couple inches of snow this evening, so that should make tomorrow a great day to paint or color with Annalies and stay inside. Natalie has school and Shawn works during the day. Just a nice, laid back day and week ahead of me. I do have a doctor's appointment just to check things out, but I'm not anticipating any issues there. I'll post about that later.

I'm growing with little miracles!

26 weeks, 5 days

Checking In

So, this modified bed rest thing. Yeah. So far I'd have to say that it's going pretty well. There are some days that I'm just exhausted for no good reason, but I guess that growing two humans is a good enough reason, right? 

Most days are pretty easy going. Eat breakfast, find something to wear, decide if Annalies and I are going to hang out up in my bedroom where the tv with local channels is or go down to the family room where Netflix is connected and all her toys are located. After a light lunch I put Annalies down for a nap and either watch something not involving animated characters or start a project. Natalie comes home from school and we chat, Annalies wakes up from nap, we have a snack, hang out, make dinner, and then bed for the girls. 

When not involved with my girls, I've been beading their Easter dresses and altering my cousin's wedding dress. My iBooks account is getting used pretty regularly, and I've gone through several tv series on Netflix. 

The boys appear to be thriving during all of this. I feel a pretty steady stream of movement from them and even though I'm still experiencing contractions, they are most definitely less frequent than I was prior to being off of work. 

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. I made a fun heart shaped breakfast for my family and then enjoyed a nap while Annalies watched PBS and read books. Last night was a dinner out with the family at an Italian restaurant and Cold Stone cupcakes at home for dessert. I received some nice kicks after the cupcakes, so the babies must have enjoyed the dark chocolate goodness as well. 

It's hard to believe that just six months ago I was meeting B & R for the first time. Six months ago tomorrow is when their embryos were transferred into me and Brady and Cohen made their debut into my life. And in a few short months, we will get to meet these much anticipated little people. I've been waiting to meet them for six months, but their parents have been waiting much longer. I'm looking forward to it!

And on a totally random subject change, yes, you are reading the time stamp correctly. I've been up since 3:50 when a leg cramp woke me up. After that settled, I have been unable to go back to sleep, so I've been catching up on Facebook, email, and reading a bit. (I'm amazed how Shawn is able to go back to sleep so easily after being awakened by a yelling wife next to him. Hmm...) Oh well, I'll just take a nap later. I'm allowed!

No big plans for today, that I know of. We are supposed to get more snow so the kids will probably play outside. This means some of mommy's cocoa (hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream), Shawn I'm sure has a project he'd like to work on, and I'll have some laundry to fold (there's always laundry to fold, right?). Just a nice, low-key Saturday for us.

And on that note, I'm going to try to go back to sleep for a little while. Resting with small miracles. 

Slow and Steady

It seems like today's title is quickly becoming my mantra. I'm okay with a slow and steady lifestyle and am quickly adjusting to the new pace of life.

Don't get me wrong, there's still a part of me that is writing post-it to do's (I like destroying a whole note when I've completed something) and noticing the dust under the piano. While I'm no longer making these big lists or tackling the floors, I'm adapting to a new way of doing things.

Annalies, my 2.5 year old, has decided that it's her job to sweep and use the dust mop. I've always let the kids help with whatever household chores they want to try and then do it with them or just do it again when they are done. Who knew that a simple job like dustmopping a floor could be such an exhausting task! Since I find that wearing, I let Annalies do it and try to point out some areas that are bugging me and ask her to get them or just let it go and appreciate her willingness and help. Win-win, right? 

I do still get to make my lists, so that's a plus for me. However, my grocery list now consists of an iPhone note that I can then text to Shawn for him to pick up. I still scour the sales ad and collect the coupons needed. He does a a great job of shopping for the family and does so very willingly.

All of this isn't to say that I've done nothing this week but watch tv and eat bonbons. I've helped the girls with their class Valentine's, sewed sead beads and pearls onto Natalie's flower girl dress, added 30 yards of turquoise tulle to the skirt of a wedding dress, sorted the girls' clothes and removed the ones that don't fit, colored pictures, had two doctor's appointments, made hot chocolate, and ran a 5 K (just kidding).

Plans for this week include adding another 30 yards of tulle to the wedding dress, adding beads to Annalies' Easter dress (what I do for one child I need to do for the other, right?), and figuring out Valentine's Day plans for home with Shawn and the girls. I don't have any OB appointments this week in order to give the specialist a chance to get her report to my OB. 

The boys have been kicking me up by the ribs today. It's been nice to have both boys kicking my ribs as it is reassuring to know that both boys are facing the correct way. I know that there is still time for one or both of them to flip to a less than desirable position, but I'm choosing to remain optimistic that they will chose to cooperate, position-wise. 

All of that to say I'm doing well and the boys are doing well. My house is less than fabulous, but I just don't care. The babies and I are healthy and that's all that matter. I'm enjoying my time with the small miracles in my life. 

25 weeks 5 days

Meeting the Specialist

Today was my appointment with the perinatal specialist. The good news is that things are looking good. Let's talk about the specifics now, shall we?

I was given a complete anatomy ultrasound of both the boys today. I absolutely love every time I get to see the babies! I can feel them move around, but it's so nice to get a small peek at them with the ultrasound.

The boys look great! Brady is weighing in at 1 lb 14 oz, which is the 58 percentile. His head is down low in the center. His head is pressing up against my cervix, which is kind of amusing when you see it on ultrasound. His heartrate is beating at 149 beats per minute. Not only is his head down low, but he is stretched streight up and down with his fanny way up high. He cooperated with most of the ultrasound and just gave some easy movements. 

Cohen is weighing in at 1 lb 12 oz and is in the 55th percentile. His heartrate is beating at 138 beats per minute. Cohen has finally listened to reason and moved into a head down position. He is all curled up with his knees up by his face! Today, he was looking straight up with his back to the left with his body facing the middle. The tech made the comment that it looked like he was trying to tickle his brother with his hands reaching toward Brady. When she was measuring his legs, he showed us a great pic of his foot, which is measuring at 4.94cm (about 2 inches).

The tech was kind of funny as she was measuring their heads. She kept referring to the 20 week scan to see where they were measuring percentage-wise then. Apparently, both their heads are measuring a bit above average. She asked me if I was okay with that and was I planning a natural delivery. I chuckled and said yes, I'm hoping to avoid a c-section and I'm not too worried. I'm a firm believer in pain meds and, after all, these are twins and twins often come early! 

After the fun pics of the boys, the tech switched the machine around and it was time to measure my cervix. Just to recap: last Friday, I was measuring 1.4cm, Monday measured 1.7-2.0cm. Today, I'm happy to report that my measurement was 2.3. Schwoo! 

After the tech took the measurements, she gave the findings to the doctor who then came in to talk with me. The doctor said she was pretty pleased to see that my body is responding well to being off of work and the modified bed rest. She does recommend that I continue to stay off of work and continue the restrictions Dr Wagner gave me. She thinks that limiting the time on my feet is a good thing and continue to avoid strenuous activity. I'm just supposed to listen to my body and avoid doing things that tire me out or cause contractions. (Isn't that what all women are supposed to do while pregnant?)

I also asked about the progesterone injection I'm currently on, per Dr Wagner's comments. Unfortunately, this doctor doesn't have a strong opinion about it at this point. She said that I'm too far along to add the gel, but she doesn't see much benefit to the shot either. If I was dilating, then she would recommend the gel, but that's not the case with me. If I had a history of delivering babies at 30 weeks she would be all for continuing the shot. Since my girls were just shy of full term and neither had any negative side effects from their premature arrival she doesn't really see it as an issue at this point. However, she said that she would leave it up to Dr Wagner. 

So, that's where we are today. I'm pretty happy with the results of today's visit. So relieved that the babies are healthy and seemingly happy (and that Cohen has moved into a better position!). I'm also glad that my body is reacting better to the pregnancy, now that we have figured out I need to stay off my feet and avoid my crazy job. Definite relief all around!

I was given a bunch of pics of the babies today and want to include them here. Enjoy the adorable miracles!

Brady's profile

Cohen's profile (his legs are up against his chest and knees by his nose)

Follow Up and Some Answers

Ah, it's so good to have some answers! Not all questions have been answered, but enough to calm me down and reassure me. Not that I was freaking out, but I've definitely been concerned.

My cervix measurement is holding stable at 1.7-2.0cm. This is good that it's stable. It is still on the short side and because of that I'll need to be monitored every week by my OB. (I've been on bed rest since the appointment on Friday, so that may have something to do with the better measurement. Friday, I left work to go to the doctor which could explain the amount of contractions and the shortened cervix.)

My OB does want me to follow up with a specialist. The specialist will make sure we are on the right track and just look me over. 

One of the things they will check is the medications I'm on. Right now I'm doing a shot of progesterone every week. My OB isn't sure if we want to continue the progesterone or switch it to a progesterone gel vaginally. Honestly, my poor thighs hurt so much from all of the injections I've had the past 7 months I'd really like to give the gel a try. The hard part is that neither the shot nor the gel have been studied in multiple pregnancies. There is basically no information about their effectiveness with twins. So, we have that to ask the specialist and see what they recommend. Whatever they think is best is what I'll do. After all, our final goal is for healthy babies to get here at the best possible time for them.

But, back to the answers that we were given today. I asked specifically what kind of restrictions Dr Wagner wants me on. Bedridden where I can only use the bathroom? Hanging out without lifting stuff? Somewhere in the middle? 

I've been told that she would like me down as much as possible. I can get up to shower, get something to eat, etc, but other than that I'm to be sitting, reclining, or laying. She said that she doesn't think I need to be flat on my back or anything like that at this point, but again, that could change with the specialist's recommendation or if we see a change at one of the weekly follow ups.

I'm rather relieved to know that I can do some things. I don't need to be treated like an invalid, but just get help with the housework, kids, and some meals. Obviously, I won't be running errands, grocery shopping, or lugging laundry baskets up and down the stairs. But to know that I can still be here for my family is huge to me. I will not have to turn all household responsibility over to Shawn at this time. To go from being a very hands on parent to one just watching the world go by is not my idea of being a good wife and mother. Not that Shawn wouldn't do a great job taking care of things, but I need to be needed by my family. (Does that even make sense?)

Friday night Shawn and I were talking about all of the "what ifs" that potentially we were looking at. What do we do about getting Natalie to dance class, who is going to grocery shop, what about continuing to potty train Annalies without having me lift her up, household chores, returning Annalies to preschool, etc. Just trying to get things sorted out as much as possible with no clear answers given to me. He asked me if he would ask a selfish question. The question was if I was going to be okay? I quickly reassured him that I am fine and that the condition of a short cervix shouldn't have any repercussions for me or my health. I'm concerned about the house and the kids, he's looking out for me. That's why I'm with this guy. We all need someone to watch out for us. :-)

The one unfortunate thing about all of this  is that there is no real answer for why this is happening. I didn't have these issues with my girls, but they were single pregnancies. You really can't compare them at all. Two babies camping out in there is so much different than just one!

I want to note that I just had a really amazing thing happen. I posted on my surrogate group's Facebook page about my appointment today and almost immediately another surro commented, asking if I would like her to come with me to my specialist appointment. How wonderful is it that I have a group of ladies who are all at different places in a surrogate experience who are willing to come along side me and support me during a time filled with so many questions! That one comment alone made me step back and appreciate this group so much. What an amazing resource to have and what amazing group of people I get to be a part of!

So, after a morning at the OB's office, I'm waiting on a phone call to tell me when my appointment with the specialist is. I'll update on the appointment once I know more. For now, we can enjoy these quick pics. I snapped one of the boys at today's appointment (don't tell the clinic!). I know they aren't the best, but they weren't really looking at the babies today. The other is a pic I grabbed of my girls last night feeling the babies move. Enjoy the small miracles!

24 weeks 6 days. Brady is on the right, Cohen is on the left.

Natalie and Annalies feeling the babies kick. 

Groundhog Day & Bed Rest, Day 2

Happy Groundhog Day, 2014! Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning. That means six more weeks of pregnancy, right? :-)

I'm hoping for at least six more weeks. That would get Brady and Cohen to almost week 31. Each day they stay inside me the better for them. 

I've had a couple of phone calls from people asking what's going on and how severe the bed rest. Basically, I really don't know much right now. The goal of Friday was to get me off my feet and on meds. Tomorrow I will see my OB and after the ultrasound I should have more answers. I'll update on the bed rest situation after I know more.

Speaking of bed rest, today is my 2nd full day. After figuring out yesterday with the help of Shawn, I think we've got a game plan for today. He did some grocery shopping last night for me, so I should have foods available that don't require too much from me. Shawn works all afternoon today, so the girls and I will be on our own for half of the day. We will see what happens!

I did notice that even with my very limited moving around yesterday, I am still contracting. It's definitely a lot less than when I work a full day and then take care of my family. Hopefully, they will decrease as my body gets used to being less active.

The boys moved a lot yesterday as well. They were very nice and let me sleep last night with no interrupting movements or mean contractions. Of course, the back rub Shawn gave me at bed time might have have something to do with that, too. My back was achy after a full day being down. What a guy I've got!

Today should be more of the same. Beadwork on a dress, refereeing discussions between my girls, and spending quality time with my bed and couches. Happy, healthy babies is the goal!

Here's to six (or more) weeks of hanging with little miracles!

24 weeks 5 days

A quick pic on my way to the couch from the bed. :-)

Just Thinking...

It's now 2:30 a.m. Ever have a night where you have so much on your mind that you wake up with your brain going a million different directions? You know you should sleep but you can't find the off switch for your thoughts?

That's me tonight. I dozed for a little while, but between Braxton-Hicks contractions (I have them every night) and my thoughts on high speed, I'm having trouble settling into a good deep sleep. That's okay, as I guess I will have some time to nap tomorrow.

Shawn and I started talking tonight a bit about our plans and what's going on. We are still going to wait for big decisions after we talk with Dr Wagner on Monday, but tentative plans have been made.

We talked about getting Natalie to dance class on Thursdays, some of the chores around the house, and little logistical things like that. It's good to have a few things settled. It helps with the peace of mind for me.

I made a list, albeit a short list, of things I can, want, and need to do while on bed rest. They include painting my girls' nails, teaching Natalie to sew with her new sewing kit, and beading her flower girl dress, among others. 

I am also thinking of other projects that I have that I could do: altering a wedding dress, tagging the girls' clothes I want to consign, attacking the mending pile of clothes for my family. You know, the things you try to do on your days off but never seem to get around to doing. I'm sure there's lots more in this category that I'm just not thinking of right now.

Then there's the list of things I wanted to do or we had talked about doing this weekend that I'm just not going to be able to do: GAI Winterfest, Laskiainen, St Paul Winter Carnival, St Paul Saints Snowball Classic... There are lots of options to chose from! Of course this is on top of the usual weekend cleaning that a house regularly needs: vacuum, clean bathrooms, wash the hardwoods, dust, laundry, etc. It's just not going to happen by me, at least.

Then there is yet another list: household maintenance list. Groceries, errands, etc. I am so thankful that we live in the age of technology! I can do almost anything online for our house. Groceries, Natalie's Valentine's Day treats for school, schedule appointments. They are all able to be done online in some fashion.

I know there will be times I will want to complain because something wasn't done the way I think it should be, but maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this is God's way of teaching me patience and understanding. Hopefully, I will come out of bed rest, however long it may be, a much better person.

Shawn is being wonderfully supportive with all of this. He's being handed a lot to add to his already full plate with me out of commission. I know he will do a great job with taking care of things around the house and with the girls. I'm very thankful for him in my life.

It's much later than when I first woke up. The contractions seem to have calmed down for now and I've had some gentle baby movements going on. As long as the babies are safe and healthy, I'll do whatever it takes to keep them that way. Good night, little miracles! Let's have a peaceful day tomorrow!