Monday, March 10, 2014

Holy Pile of Legal Paperwork!

I was so happy to have a relaxed morning with my kids on the day after daylight savings. Natalie doesn't have school today (who knows why) so the girls and I were hanging out in jammies and watching some tv. 

Then the doorbell rang. Awe, nuts! 

I quickly ran to the door to find a delivery driver there holding something for me. Now, if you know me, you know how much I love getting fun things in the mail. It's kind of a "Christmas morning" rush that comes with a box by the door or a special delivery. Fun, right!

After answering the door, I was handed a huge envelope by a Fed Ex driver. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm being sued or divorced or something. The envelope clearly says that it's from a lawyer.


She would be wrong with any of those assumptions. I happen to know the lawyer. He's the director of the Agency and is handling all of the paperwork and legal stuff for the entirety of the surrogacy. He's a nice guy and I appreciate his experience in handing everything for us. 

After opening the big Fed Ex envelope, I found yet another envelope.


Here's where the mystery envelopes get good. Upon opening this envelope, I unearthed a huge stack of papers!


Not even kidding, this stack is a good 3/4 of an inch thick and has 20 flags or post its on them! Wow, that's quite a stack of papers (71 pages)! And, this is just one copy of everything, it's not even duplicated!

Upon reading everything, I learned that with the crazy effacement and dilation I've been experiencing, the Agency is trying to get all of the paperwork in place that we will need after the babies are born. They don't want to be caught off guard, should the babies be born early.

Without giving specifics, there's a bunch of steps that will take place in court after the babies are born. A few things that will happen is that the court will establish that I gave birth but I am not the genetic mother. (Remember, the state of Minnesota thinks that if you gave birth it's yours). The court will also acknowledge that Shawn is not the father of the babies even though he is my husband. Finally, the court will take my name off Brady and Cohen's birth certificates and put B & R on them. (The court will do a bunch of other things, but they don't really apply to me, so I'm not going to comment on them.)

Honestly, the only thing I don't like about all of this is the cold phrase "termination of parental rights." It sounds so heartless and uncaring. It's going to go down in history that I, Shawnee, voluntarily gave up parental rights of another human being.

Please don't misunderstand me. I don't want to keep these babies or take them home with me. I don't want to be responsible for the upbringing, guardianship, nurturing, or character building of Brady and Cohen. 
I have no trouble with the thought of B & R taking the babies home. I'm really good with where Shawn and I are with our family and honestly, the thought of twins is a bit daunting to me at this point in my life. I'm confident that B & R are going to be wonderful parents and will give Brady and Cohen all the love and support they need. It's just the cold words and terminology that I don't like. (Can I blame this a bit on hormones?)

B & R can be confident that they will have no issues from me when it comes to all of this legal stuff. I get that this is just how it is right now in our state and this is just what needs to be done to make this surrogacy all legal, final, and stuff like that. I just wish there was another way to phrase it. Something that was a little less "made for TV movie" and a little more "I did my part, now it's time for the parents to do their thing." How about "wish them well and keep in touch." or "it's been fun, drive safely." 

I know, I know, the legal system is supposedly devoid of feelings so it can be impartial to all parties involved. I get that and know it is necessary. Courts aren't subject to the hormones of a pregnant woman (and thank God for that, right!)

Anyway, Shawn and I will soon find time to go to a notary and sign our names 18 times. We will get the big ol' packet back to the Agency. And we will make sure things are legal for little miracles.


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