The End is in Sight

The end of the first trimester, that is! At 11 weeks 2 days, I can honestly say that I am looking forward to the next couple of weeks with a lot of anticipation. 

Why anticipation, you may ask? Good question. For starters, the start of the second trimester usually signals the end of some of the less than desirable pregnancy symptoms. Ah, I can picture it now... Waking without nausea, desiring food prior to 3 pm, energy... Yeah, I'm definitely anticipating the end of this trimester!

As noted, I have quite the appetite after 3 pm, but really not able to handle much more than bananas, yogurt, and soup prior to that. Solids are not my thing right now, unless its for dinner. I've noticed that I am enjoying dinner way more than before, for the most part. There are still some foods that I just can't do, no matter what time or how they are prepared. Cream of something soup. Definitely off limits. I'm guessing that one may hang around for the entire pregnancy by the way it hasn't eased up yet.

With the second trimester will come more growth for the babies which will mean more back pain. Yes, I've got a bit of back pain. After my work day and my attempts at dinner or laundry my back has had it! Think about it: my back was used to my former shape and in the past few weeks I've gained a belly where the babies are growing. My back now has to compensate for the added growth in my front. It makes sense, it you think about it. The more my tummy grows with the babies, the more the strain on the back as it tries to figure things out. 

I've also got a few other things to be thankful for the first trimester coming to an end: this is the commencement of the host of medicines I've been taking! The pills, tablets, shots, and suppositories are almost done! This last week I've been tapering them according to the doctor's orders and I should be done with them in the next few days! Oh, my legs are so excited, as is my stomach and other parts of my body not yet mentioned (use your imagination!).

Anyway, I'm still doing well. The babies are also doing well, as far as I can tell. From what I've heard, B & R are well, as are my little munchkins and hubby. Autumn is definitely here and we are enjoying the fruits Minnesota has to offer this time of year. Life is good!

Excited for little miracles!

Twin Twists

Lately, the morning sickness has been decreasing. However, last night it came back with a vengeance and hasn't given up yet. It also brought a couple of friends with it: light-head and near-fainting.

After doing some research (aka consulting the google and webMD) these two new symptoms are fairly common with twin pregnancies. Oh joy.

Apparently, remedies include keeping hydrated (no problems there), sitting as much as possible, not standing or changing positions rapidly, and increasing my fat and protein intake. 

My diet has changed a little this past week. Instead of craving red meats, I've been craving fruits and some cheeses. Don't get me wrong, I still could eat a Chipotle steak burrito every day, but before and after that I want kiwi, peaches, bananas, grapefruit, etc.

Apparently, these babies need some crazy balance of red meat and fruit. Hmm. That might be a challenge. Maybe I'll start making smoothies again and see if a smoothie a day helps things out.

All of that to say, I'm having a very low-key day. Lots of sitting or reclining, books and craft projects with my kids that don't require much out of me (clay bead making, coloring) and some amazing help from my wonderful husband.

I've learned to do whatever I can when I can do it and let unimportant things go. It's not a bad way to live, really. My house doesn't have to be perfect, foods don't have to always be made from scratch, a tv show here and there isn't going to prevent my kids from getting into college. As long as everyone in my house is healthy, happy, and loved I think I'm doing a darn good job. (Just don't drop by unannounced!)

Taking care of miracles!

10 weeks 5 days 

Cool Thing

Last night I was busy taking pictures for some theater publicity stuff. It was a busy time, trying to watch what was going on the stage through the lens of a camera. All of a sudden, I had to stop concentrating on the show. 

No, I wasn't in pain, nothing was wrong. I could feel something and I needed to concentrate to make sure it was what I thought it was. 

After a few minutes I realized that I was correct. I could feel the babies moving! They were going absolutely crazy in there together! Two two inch people were having a dance party to the music of the show, apparently. 

I was trying to remember when I could first feel my two girls move. I'm pretty sure it was closer to the 16-20 week place, but hey, there was only one in there at those times. This time there's double the kids! 

They obviously aren't strong enough yet to feel them from the outside (no hands on the belly, yet, please!). That should be in about 10ish weeks, if I remember correctly. Of course, this is a totally different game here, with twins, but still, babies need strength to kick through a stomach!

Miracles are a lot of fun!

Happy Doctor Appointment

This morning was my 10 week check and ultrasound. I was so excited for this appointment and couldn't wait to see the babies!

Shawn was able to come with me after all, which was a great thing. We were quickly checked in, I was weighed and measured (I'm up two pounds). Then, the doctor came in and asked how I'm doing, how's the nausea, and if I had any concerns. She also asked if B & R were coming. When I said no, she saw the phone in my hand and asked if I was going to FaceTime them. Well, yeah!

Shawn called B and asked if B was in a good place to FaceTime the appointment. Shawn put B through and B was able to watch the entire ultrasound!

Shawn attempted to FaceTime with R, however, one of the connections wasn't great, so we had to settle for videoing parts of the ultrasound and sending it that way. Shawn also text R with some of the info, so R was a part of the appointment as well.

All of that to say the babies are great! They were moving all over the place and really gave us a good show! Their heart rates are 164 & 169 beats per minute which is perfect for 10 week old babies. They are measuring at 9.5 weeks and 9.4 weeks, again perfect for where they are gestationally.

Everything is going so well and I couldn't be happier. I brought pictures to work and was able to show everyone that, yes, I really am carrying two babies. My coworkers are so excited and can't wait to find out their genders!

Miracles make me smile. :-)

Two different pics of the babies at 10 weeks.

**update**

I knew as soon as I hit publish I would hear from the clinic. I was right! 

Can I get a big "Woo Hoo!" I have my protocol for weaning off of the meds! That's just the cherry on top of my sundae (yum, sundae... With bananas and whip cream and hot fudge and nuts... Sorry, pregnant hormones talking here.) 

Articles and Opinions

I read an article today in the Huffington Post (I know, not the most creditworthy of publications) and it caused me to stop and think. Let me tell you about the article first.

The article was titled "what never, ever to say to a gestational surrogate" or something like that. (Read the article here http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4094921) Basically, the author said one of her friends stated on Facebook that she was a gestational surrogate and the embryo transfer would be taking place in two weeks. The Facebook friend was asking for good thoughts, prayers, vibes, love and support as she started this new journey.

The author went on to say that she read the comments people wrote and found one comment that sparked a lot of controversy. The comment was something along the lines of "and think of all the money you will get!" 

This article made me reflect on all of the comments I've heard as I've been telling people about my decision to be a surrogate.

I wishing could say that all I've heard are positive comments filled with love and support. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. Yes, the majority have been graceful and supportive, however, there are a few that I'm remembering, thanks to the article.

Since I'm a teacher I felt it only right to tell my student's parents what is going on with me. I feel they have a right to know why Ms Shawnee may be a bit off every once in a while. Most of the parents were fantastic with lots of encouragement. One mom asked me pretty bluntly how much money I was doing this for. I honestly told her that I legally wasn't allowed to disclose any specifics of my arrangement. She looked at me and said "C'mon, you work at a private Christian daycare as a toddler teacher. You have two kids and your husband works two jobs. I know you need the money." I told her that it's not about the money and if I could see a way this would not affect my family at all I wouldn't have requested any compensation. I also said that I started all of this because of my friend and if she asked me to carry for her I would. This is about helping create a family, not about improving my financial status. I could think of a thousand other ways to do that and none of them include daily shots or subjecting my body and mind to this kind of roller coaster.

I think I finally got through to that mom, because she wished me luck and continues to ask me about my surrogacy.

I've had people so excited I'm doing this that they start crying. I've lost a couple of key people in my life because they think I'm making a foolish decision. I have had more than just the above mentioned mom ask about finances. I've even had one person ask me why the IP's couldn't just adopt.

I think my favorite response so far has been from my daughter when we told her what was happening. She responded with a "cool." So simple, so affirming.

If you've been reading my blog for even a short time, you know my reasoning and my heart behind surrogacy. If you know me at all, you know that I'm always there to help someone and to give it my best. I just don't think I'm that kind of a person... (Not trying to sound arrogant or conceited).

I know there are women out in the surrogacy world who are doing this to make money. There are agencies advertising to women that this is an "easy" way to earn an extra income for your family. My response to both is that surrogacy is anything but easy. There are lives at stake and in some cases, livelihoods at stake. 

Surrogacy is an amazing gift that one can give, if she is able. I get that this isn't for everyone. I know there will be critics. There will be cases gone wrong. But, those are the exceptions, not the rules. I've never doubted my decision to become a surrogate. In fact, the individuals who try to make what I'm doing seem wrong or those who are unsupportive of me just strengthen me and my decision. I'm not going to let a few make me waver.

I'm supportive of little miracles!

Oh, Hormones!

Oh, I've gotta love pregnancy hormones! The roller coaster of emotions, albeit mild emotions I'm experiencing. Still, emotions nonetheless.

I've had an irrational fear of my next ultrasound. On Tuesday, I will be exactly 10 weeks pregnant and will have another ultrasound to check to make sure everything is still going okay.

Unfortunately, I've had several friends who have recently had bad news at this ten week ultrasound. Either their babies didn't survive to this point or in cases of twins have been naturally reduced to a singleton. So maybe my fears haven't been all that irrational, just magnified because of my new knowledge.

For some reason, today I have had none of the worry or fear. I am very much at peace with this pregnancy and with whatever happens with the babies. I know everything will be okay. I haven't had any "bad" symptoms often associated with miscarriage. I'm still feeling about the same with the frequent morning sickness, light-headedness, and food aversions. Nothing has changed for me at all. I'm taking this as a good sign.

Gotta love these hormones!

One nice thing about the added hormones is the ability to need and enjoy the snuggles of my girls and hubby. My youngest woke up early from her nap today and wanted to cuddle with mommy. Me being the hormonally sensitive person I am, happily endulged her needs and enjoyed every minute of it! Kids grow up so fast and I've elated to enjoy as much of their young life as possible. Apparently the sense of touch is something I'm kind of craving right now. And what a good craving to have!

Alright, so enough of that. Hormones. Gotta love 'em.

I will be going to the ultrasound by myself this time. Quite the change from the last one when I had four others with me! Anyway, I told B & R I will attempt to FaceTime them during the ultrasound so they can see their babies again. If that won't work, I will video as much as possible and send it to them and give them a call after the appointment.

I'm looking forward to seeing the babies again and hearing their heartbeats. That's my favorite thing about pregnancy! 

Honestly, I'm looking forward to hitting the 10 week mark for another reason. Once the Clinic and Dr D get the info from the ultrasound they will send me a new protocol for weaning me off the meds! The end of shots is in sight! (My thighs are so excited to have only 16 shots left. The end of bruising is near!)

The hormones are also making me a little less "filtered" than normal. Yesterday, at my daughter's birthday party someone came up to me and said "I see you're getting a little pudgy." My response was rather blunt: "No, I'm not pudgy, I'm pregnant with twins." Seriously. Who tells someone else that they are getting pudgy? The dumb thing is that this person knows I'm pregnant with twins! Of course I'm going to have a bit of a tummy at ten weeks pregnant with twins! Who says stuff like that? And who in their right mind says stuff like that to a pregnant woman?!?

Ah, so much happening and so many emotions to be thankful for!

I'm thankful for small miracles. 

9 weeks 5 days (wearing tummy tucking maternity pants. Sorry, not the best pic)

Pregnancy Progress

Let's see... I'm 9 weeks and 1 day pregnant. This pregnancy is going by fast, it seems to me. I'm guessing if you asked B & R they would disagree. When you think about it, I'm almost a quarter of the way through this pregnancy. I'm guessing these babies will be born a bit before the 40 week mark, but I don't have a good feel for potential date yet.

Everything is going along well so far. I'm still not feeling baby movement yet, but that will come soon, especially with two of them in there. Without baby movement yet, there's not a lot to comment on, baby-wise. 

Pregnancy wise, I'm doing well. Still existing with nausea or morning sickness, food aversions, and lots of fatigue. Food cravings aren't extreme and they seem to change almost daily. I'm still favoring red meet over white meat. I really like lots of raw onions in my salads right now. All fruits are very happy things in my book (back to enjoying strawberries! Yeah!!!). Oh, and something totally new for me is my new appreciation of chocolate. I usually favor fruity candies, but lately I've been appreciating chocolates more.

One new thing I'm experiencing is some difficulty sleeping. Not just multiple bathroom trips, but I'm starting to have trouble finding a comfortable sleeping position. I tend to favor my left side, but whichever side I'm on I still have my heating pad to contend with.

Have I mentioned my heating pad? I'm still giving myself a daily progesterone shot. I've learned that after I give myself the shot it helps my legs to put the heating pad on the puncture site overnight. I sleep with a heating pad on my leg to give it maximum time to heat and thus absorb into the muscle and cause me less pain.

So, that's where we are right now. Next week will be another ultrasound, so I will have fun pictures to share.

I'm hanging out with the miracles!