Six days. Just six more days until I am at the Clinic to have the embryo(s) transferred. Six days isn't very long at all, is it?
No, I'm not scared. I'm not nervous. I'm a bit worried. If you know me at all, you know that I am not much of a worrier. I have a strong faith and I try to "cast my worries on Jesus, because He cares for me" (my paraphrase). I'm not worried about me at all. I know I will be fine. There isn't anything medically tricky about my part in the transfer. I'm worried about M & A. More than that, I'm starting to worry about if this transfer doesn't take and I get a negative test result the week after I return.
I know worrying won't help or accomplish anything. I know that this pregnancy and baby are totally out of my control. I know that there is absolutely nothing I can do to make a positive pregnancy test happen. I know all of these things.
Honestly, I am worried that if the test is negative, how am I supposed to call M & A and tell them that? I've made some tough phone calls before, but I think this would rank up there with the most difficult.
For now, I will continue to pray and continue to "cast my worries". I will continue to take my meds, eat healthily, get daily exercise, play with my kids, love my husband, and pray that all goes well for a little miracle.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
The Last Stab
Today marks a big accomplishment for me: it marks the last shot of Lupron I have to give myself. They haven't been as bad as I feared and I didn't have the side effects that many others have experienced, but it hasn't been the highlight of my day, either. My tummy looks a little worse for the wear, a bruise and a bunch of puncture wounds, so that part of my body is also glad to be done.
Here's what is on the schedule for this week:
-Tuesday-I go in for an ultrasound to check the uterine lining (follicular development and endometrial lining thickness, to be precise) to make sure it is nice and thick and ready for the transfer and implantation. Coincidently, this will also be the day that the eggs are retrieved. But that's not me or my eggs.
-Wednesday- I start progesterone. Thankfully, my doctor has prescribed the vaginal suppositories so I will not be starting another shot. I am very thankful for this minor fact!
-Friday-A good friend comes over to stay with my girls. I will give her the rundown of their schedules and quirks in order to leave...
-Saturday- I fly out to the clinic city!
-Sunday-Transfer day!
-Monday- Return flight home.
As you can see there is a lot going on this week! I'd appreciate prayers for safe travels and a successful transfer. Safe and healthy miracle or two...
Here's what is on the schedule for this week:
-Tuesday-I go in for an ultrasound to check the uterine lining (follicular development and endometrial lining thickness, to be precise) to make sure it is nice and thick and ready for the transfer and implantation. Coincidently, this will also be the day that the eggs are retrieved. But that's not me or my eggs.
-Wednesday- I start progesterone. Thankfully, my doctor has prescribed the vaginal suppositories so I will not be starting another shot. I am very thankful for this minor fact!
-Friday-A good friend comes over to stay with my girls. I will give her the rundown of their schedules and quirks in order to leave...
-Saturday- I fly out to the clinic city!
-Sunday-Transfer day!
-Monday- Return flight home.
As you can see there is a lot going on this week! I'd appreciate prayers for safe travels and a successful transfer. Safe and healthy miracle or two...
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Making Plans
Today marks a big day in the life of M & A. They started their trip to the Clinic today and will undergo testing and treatments the next five days, resulting in the egg retrieval on the 22nd. They are in my prayers as they travel and undergo all of the medical stuff.
Looking back, it's crazy how I only blogged once a month for several months and now I'm blogging almost daily. According to my PC, that's a huge part of surrogacy, the hurry-up-and-wait. As long as I know something is in the works I'm okay with waiting. Now it appears my patience seems to have paid off as things are really picking up!
I'm still doing really well in the medicinal side effects department. The biggest thing I've noticed is that I am incredibly thirsty. I've been drinking a couple hundred ounces of water every day and that barely takes care of the need. Thankfully, my body is getting rid of the water and I'm not bloated. That would be bad! But, one would think my skin would be incredibly soft and well hydrated from all of the liquid. Not so! I know part of it is due to me washing my hands so often during the day at work (I'm a toddler teacher). But really, I should be dry-skin free! Ah, the plights of a surrogate (can you hear the sarcasm?). My 25oz water tumbler is my new constant companion! (See pic below).
I also received notification from my PC that I will be having an ultrasound in one week to make sure my uterine lining is nice and thick, all ready for the transfer. This will happen the same day as the egg retrieval, so lots going on next week!
They are also working on my travel to the Clinic. Checking dates, times, making sure my passport is valid, etc. All of the arrangements that are needed for a successful transfer, as far as we can get set. Shawn wants to come with me which I love, and we will hopefully be able to swing that. Again, more arrangements to be made.
Please keep M & A in your prayers today and in the coming days as we all prepare for a miracle.
Looking back, it's crazy how I only blogged once a month for several months and now I'm blogging almost daily. According to my PC, that's a huge part of surrogacy, the hurry-up-and-wait. As long as I know something is in the works I'm okay with waiting. Now it appears my patience seems to have paid off as things are really picking up!
I'm still doing really well in the medicinal side effects department. The biggest thing I've noticed is that I am incredibly thirsty. I've been drinking a couple hundred ounces of water every day and that barely takes care of the need. Thankfully, my body is getting rid of the water and I'm not bloated. That would be bad! But, one would think my skin would be incredibly soft and well hydrated from all of the liquid. Not so! I know part of it is due to me washing my hands so often during the day at work (I'm a toddler teacher). But really, I should be dry-skin free! Ah, the plights of a surrogate (can you hear the sarcasm?). My 25oz water tumbler is my new constant companion! (See pic below).
I also received notification from my PC that I will be having an ultrasound in one week to make sure my uterine lining is nice and thick, all ready for the transfer. This will happen the same day as the egg retrieval, so lots going on next week!
They are also working on my travel to the Clinic. Checking dates, times, making sure my passport is valid, etc. All of the arrangements that are needed for a successful transfer, as far as we can get set. Shawn wants to come with me which I love, and we will hopefully be able to swing that. Again, more arrangements to be made.
Please keep M & A in your prayers today and in the coming days as we all prepare for a miracle.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
A Walking Medicine Cabinet
I know that there are a ton of people on the planet who take a lot more medication than I am currently taking, but in the past couple of days my medicine intake has rapidly increased. Here's the rundown:
-Prenatal vitamin. Taken for obvious reasons. I've been taking this for a couple of months, so no change here.
-Zyrtec (generic version). I have environmental allergies and have been on a controller for a number of years. Yes, I have a note from my OB/GYN stating it is safe to take during pregnancy. My allergies trigger my asthma so as long as I can keep my allergies under control I'm pretty safe from breathing problems. Shawnee breathing = child I'm carrying is breathing.
-Lupron (generic equivalent). This is a new one. I started the lupron injections on Friday and so far so good! I have some previous knowledge about lupron and it wasn't positive. The kids that I would give this to would say that they would hurt for a day or two after the injection (same medication given for different reasons as determined by their doctor). My dad was on lupron as one of his treatments of prostate cancer (this is the original intention of this drug). My dad had severe reactions to this medicine. He would be in severe pain for about 3 days after the shot. I chatted with some surrogate friends about their experience and most of them said they had headaches and mood swings. One confided that she turned into a crazy lady while on it with severe mood swings that she wasn't able to control.
My experience so far with it has been better than I was fearing. I've had a lot of cramping and headaches so far, but none of the extreme mood swings I heard about. I'm counting my blessings as I can deal with cramping, headaches, oh, and a little bruising on my stomach where I'm injecting (I bruise really easily).
-Estrace (generic form). I'm taking 10 mg in tablets broken up throughout the day. So I'm taking two 2mg in the morning, one 2mg in the afternoon, and two 2 mg in the evening. I honestly don't know know if the cramping and headaches are from the Lupron or the estrogen (or a combination of the two) as I started both of them at the same time.
-Tylenol. To counteract the headaches and cramping I've been popping Tylenol to take the edge off. I can't say it's been all that effective, but I'd like to think that it's helping a little. Not sure what else to take that is safe with the smörgåsbord of meds, so I'll stick with what I know.
I have yet to start the progesterone suppositories, but I'm not too concerned about them. I was on them with my last pregnancy due to a slightly low progesterone level. That pregnancy turned out fine. They are gross, but overall not nearly as bad as progesterone-in-oil that some other surrogates have to take (that's a twice daily shot in the fanny). My OB was glad to hear I would have suppositories as studies show they are more effective than the shot. It makes sense when you think about it: put the medicine where it is needed rather than making it travel throughout the body to get to where it is needed.
Anyway, now that I have been on drugs for a few days I thought I'd check in. So far, so good. All of this for a trip to Canada and a transfer on the 27th! Actually, all of this for a miracle...
-Prenatal vitamin. Taken for obvious reasons. I've been taking this for a couple of months, so no change here.
-Zyrtec (generic version). I have environmental allergies and have been on a controller for a number of years. Yes, I have a note from my OB/GYN stating it is safe to take during pregnancy. My allergies trigger my asthma so as long as I can keep my allergies under control I'm pretty safe from breathing problems. Shawnee breathing = child I'm carrying is breathing.
-Lupron (generic equivalent). This is a new one. I started the lupron injections on Friday and so far so good! I have some previous knowledge about lupron and it wasn't positive. The kids that I would give this to would say that they would hurt for a day or two after the injection (same medication given for different reasons as determined by their doctor). My dad was on lupron as one of his treatments of prostate cancer (this is the original intention of this drug). My dad had severe reactions to this medicine. He would be in severe pain for about 3 days after the shot. I chatted with some surrogate friends about their experience and most of them said they had headaches and mood swings. One confided that she turned into a crazy lady while on it with severe mood swings that she wasn't able to control.
My experience so far with it has been better than I was fearing. I've had a lot of cramping and headaches so far, but none of the extreme mood swings I heard about. I'm counting my blessings as I can deal with cramping, headaches, oh, and a little bruising on my stomach where I'm injecting (I bruise really easily).
-Estrace (generic form). I'm taking 10 mg in tablets broken up throughout the day. So I'm taking two 2mg in the morning, one 2mg in the afternoon, and two 2 mg in the evening. I honestly don't know know if the cramping and headaches are from the Lupron or the estrogen (or a combination of the two) as I started both of them at the same time.
-Tylenol. To counteract the headaches and cramping I've been popping Tylenol to take the edge off. I can't say it's been all that effective, but I'd like to think that it's helping a little. Not sure what else to take that is safe with the smörgåsbord of meds, so I'll stick with what I know.
I have yet to start the progesterone suppositories, but I'm not too concerned about them. I was on them with my last pregnancy due to a slightly low progesterone level. That pregnancy turned out fine. They are gross, but overall not nearly as bad as progesterone-in-oil that some other surrogates have to take (that's a twice daily shot in the fanny). My OB was glad to hear I would have suppositories as studies show they are more effective than the shot. It makes sense when you think about it: put the medicine where it is needed rather than making it travel throughout the body to get to where it is needed.
Anyway, now that I have been on drugs for a few days I thought I'd check in. So far, so good. All of this for a trip to Canada and a transfer on the 27th! Actually, all of this for a miracle...
Friday, January 11, 2013
One Little Poke
Well, I did it. Today is my day one and that means that I started the Lupron injections. Let me wax eloquently for a bit.
I used to work at a local children's hospital as a nurse in their general pediatric clinic. Every day I would work with patients and would often have to give them shots. In the five years I worked in this field, I'll bet that I gave between 10-20 kids vaccinations or an immunization on any given day. I worked 4 days a week, 47 weeks a year for five years. Not including special vaccinations like flu shot clinics, well-child clinic, etc, I've probably given 20,000 shots to kids.
Today, as opened the alcohol prep pad and cleaned off the top of the vial, it all came back to me. This is what I've been trained to do! I swiftly filled the syringe to the designated place and scooped the cap on for safety. I cleaned the area on my tummy that I'm supposed to use. And then everything I've been trained to do went out the window as I aimed the syringe at myself. This is NOT something I've been trained for! As a matter of fact, I've been trained to properly give a shot without stabbing myself! What the heck am I doing?!?!?!
I took a couple of deep breaths and reminded myself why I am doing this. M & A want and deserve a child. M & A have been through so much, my worst nightmare, and yet they still strive to taste the blessings that Shawn and I enjoy every day, the blessings of our children. It's not about me, it's about helping create a family for two people who want this so much. It's about a miracle for all of us.
With that in mind, I recleaned my site, grabbed the syringe and injected. The start of the miracle has begun.
I used to work at a local children's hospital as a nurse in their general pediatric clinic. Every day I would work with patients and would often have to give them shots. In the five years I worked in this field, I'll bet that I gave between 10-20 kids vaccinations or an immunization on any given day. I worked 4 days a week, 47 weeks a year for five years. Not including special vaccinations like flu shot clinics, well-child clinic, etc, I've probably given 20,000 shots to kids.
Today, as opened the alcohol prep pad and cleaned off the top of the vial, it all came back to me. This is what I've been trained to do! I swiftly filled the syringe to the designated place and scooped the cap on for safety. I cleaned the area on my tummy that I'm supposed to use. And then everything I've been trained to do went out the window as I aimed the syringe at myself. This is NOT something I've been trained for! As a matter of fact, I've been trained to properly give a shot without stabbing myself! What the heck am I doing?!?!?!
I took a couple of deep breaths and reminded myself why I am doing this. M & A want and deserve a child. M & A have been through so much, my worst nightmare, and yet they still strive to taste the blessings that Shawn and I enjoy every day, the blessings of our children. It's not about me, it's about helping create a family for two people who want this so much. It's about a miracle for all of us.
With that in mind, I recleaned my site, grabbed the syringe and injected. The start of the miracle has begun.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Meds, Math, and a Bit of Confusion
Warning! Possible TMI! Nothing too bad, just stuff you probably didn't want to know about me. Too bad! This surrogacy thing is a whole lot about me you didn't know!
Yesterday, I posted that I received my medication protocol. The email stated something like "Since you will get your period tomorrow or the next day..." Being curious because I had already tried to figure out when I would start medications, the transfer would take place, etc, I grabbed my pack of birth control pills that I had been taking to regulate my cycle. Hmm, it looks like I still have three more active pills left then I start the inactive pills. I usually cycle the second day of inactives...
My math was telling me that this means that my day one of the next period would be on Sunday, not Wednesday or Thursday. When we are talking about egg retrieval and transferring, a couple of days like this matters a lot.
I emailed my PC last night and told her what I was seeing with the BCP and asked what they advised. And then I waited...
Finally, at 10:45 this morning, I received an email letting me know that I need to discontinue the BCP and let them know when I finally get a period.
Got it. I'm guessing someone miscounted last month or forgot how many pills are in this brand's pack. Either way, today is my first day without any kind of medication (except for allergy meds, of course) and holy cramps, batman! But, I'm guessing that I will start the injections tomorrow or Friday. Let the good times roll!
Preparation for a miracle...
Yesterday, I posted that I received my medication protocol. The email stated something like "Since you will get your period tomorrow or the next day..." Being curious because I had already tried to figure out when I would start medications, the transfer would take place, etc, I grabbed my pack of birth control pills that I had been taking to regulate my cycle. Hmm, it looks like I still have three more active pills left then I start the inactive pills. I usually cycle the second day of inactives...
My math was telling me that this means that my day one of the next period would be on Sunday, not Wednesday or Thursday. When we are talking about egg retrieval and transferring, a couple of days like this matters a lot.
I emailed my PC last night and told her what I was seeing with the BCP and asked what they advised. And then I waited...
Finally, at 10:45 this morning, I received an email letting me know that I need to discontinue the BCP and let them know when I finally get a period.
Got it. I'm guessing someone miscounted last month or forgot how many pills are in this brand's pack. Either way, today is my first day without any kind of medication (except for allergy meds, of course) and holy cramps, batman! But, I'm guessing that I will start the injections tomorrow or Friday. Let the good times roll!
Preparation for a miracle...
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Medication Protocol
Today I heard from my coordinator. The clinic sent her my medication protocol. I had no idea what or when I would be taking anything, with the exception of the lupron. That I knew was to be started on my day one for January.
The only thing is that I think they might have gotten my BCP confused with some other brand. My protocol thinks my day one will be tomorrow, when, according to my BCP and my body, my day one should be Sundayish (you know how accurate women's bodies are!). Oh goodness.
One kind of confusing email typed out via my phone and now I wait to hear back from my coordinator. I'm guessing it will be sometime tomorrow before I hear back. I'll keep ya posted!
For now, I will go to sleep, dreaming about a miracle...
The only thing is that I think they might have gotten my BCP confused with some other brand. My protocol thinks my day one will be tomorrow, when, according to my BCP and my body, my day one should be Sundayish (you know how accurate women's bodies are!). Oh goodness.
One kind of confusing email typed out via my phone and now I wait to hear back from my coordinator. I'm guessing it will be sometime tomorrow before I hear back. I'll keep ya posted!
For now, I will go to sleep, dreaming about a miracle...
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