The Cat's Out of the Bag!

With the gathering of family and friends, we decided that now is as good a time as ever to let everyone in on our news. Reactions have been interesting and varied.

I've been getting a lot of "why/how did you decide to do this?" I know I talked about it a bit in my first post, but I'll go over it again.

Surrogacy has been something that has interested me for a number of years. When I first brought it up to Shawn, he said that he would help me look into it, but maybe wait until our family might be done. No problem there for me as I was thinking the same thing.

Fast forward a couple years. I'm pregnant with our second child and a friend of mine who struggled with infertility for a number of years becomes pregnant with twins. We chat via Facebook about hanging out while we both are on maternity leave. I had our little girl and three weeks later I received a text from my friend's husband letting me know the twins miscarried. Ugh.

As I looked at our two beautiful girls and sit amazed at the blessing in my life, I told my husband that I need to help a couple have a child so they can experience the blessing we have.

Meanwhile, thoughts of surrogacy were put on hold as we walked with my dad through his final stages of cancer and finally as he made his home in heaven. I miss him terribly, but know he fought a difficult fight here on earth and he deserves the rest he now has with the angels.

As we put the grief of my dad's passing behind us, I felt it was time to stop dwelling on myself and start focusing on how I could help others. And our surrogacy hunt began!

Lots of Internet research later and chatting with a few people who have gone through the process, I decided to go through an agency that specializes in surrogacy and fertility. I figured that way I won't have to reinvent the wheel on the whole process and get some help and support along the way. (Read back blogs to get the saga between then and now.)

So, that's my story. Our friends whom we've told have been incredibly supportive and some have even been enthusiastic to hear of our plans! Our families have been cautious and guarded, mostly out of concern for me, my physical and mental health, and my relationship with Shawn. I can understand that concern and hope that as we go along they see how excited I am to be helping M & A (or another couple) have the blessing they have been praying for.

Little Miracle, I'm ready for you!

A Package Arrives!

This week has been a busy emailing week between me and the agency. Here's the recap:

-Ovulation has occurred! Not for me (not a big deal if I ovulate, as we don't want my egg anyway). The doctor's office is tracking both our cycles for obvious reasons.

-I chatted with a pharmacist for quite a while. The fertility doctor came up with a medication protocol for me leading up to transfer and for a bit after. This leads to...

-A package arrived on my doorstep! Friday, after I came home from work I saw a box. I love boxes and packages and fun mail! Anyway, I excitedly opened the box to find it filled with tablets and vials and syringes and vaginal suppositories and alcohol prep pads. (Too much info? I never said that this process was pretty)

The deal with the meds is that I will be starting them next month on my January day 1 (first day of next period.) Hello, injections! Then, they will tell me when to start the others...

Let's get this miracle started! Merry Christmas!

Blood and Bodily Fluids

Alrighty then... I am one step closer toward baby!

Today, my hubby and I went to a random lab to have tests done. (Random to us, specific to Agency.)

What kind of tests?

The tests were to check for infectious diseases.

Infectious diseases? Really? Shouldn't the Hubs and I have already come clean about any known diseases way before today?

Well, yes, and yes, we did already talk about our health, but of course we need to take every precaution for both our safety and that of the baby. I did work in health care for a number of years... And prayed every day for my safety.

That being said, we willingly went to the lab and had lots of blood and other bodily fluids taken from us. They were really great at the lab and got us through quickly. Well, as quickly as one can when taking 7 vials of blood (only 4 for Shawn) and a urine sample! (TMI? I haven't even started yet! Wait until we get to the good stuff in a month or so!)

We/Agency should get the tests results back in a week and we will continue on this journey toward our miracles!

Subject to Change...

Wow, having a baby for someone else sure has a bazillion steps before the actual pregnancy happens! I had no idea! Here's the latest...

I received an email from the agency stating that my surrogate coordinator has handed me off to the program coordinator (I'll refer to her as PC from now on) for the duration. No problem there.  I really like my surrogate coordinator but totally understand the need for the hand off. I received a call tonight from the agency and was able to chat with PC for a bit. She seems really great, very knowledgeable about everything. She sounds like the kind of person you would want to coordinate your medical stuff. Confident and reassuring.

Anyway, I have been informed that Shawn and I will need to undergo infectious disease testing next week (M & A have to do the same testing, too). Totally reasonable request, if you ask me. Of course I agreed to that with no problems.

PC and I chatted about what will be happening for the next little while. Here's the unofficial rundown (from what I remember from my phone call):
-Infectious Disease testing next week for me and my hubby (and M & A)
-PC will be keeping tabs on my cycle for the next couple months and reporting to the doctor to coordinate with the egg retrieval (not my eggs!). Is this TMI, yet? Just wait... :-)
-Once the clinic/doctor has our cycles down they will figure out a medication protocol for both of us and get us started on the drugs.
-I've been told that I will probably be starting medication in December. We are shooting for a January (or February, if needed) transfer. **Holy cow, I just realized that if this transfer takes and I get preggo right away then Baby would be due October (or November) of next year! Oi! That's less than one year from now! Wow!**

It is so nice to have an idea of when things MAY happen. I know that all of these dates are tentative, totally subject to change due to a number of factors, but it is at least good to have something on the horizon. This is really happening! There are miracles within sight!

Progress...

Let's see... the last thing I posted was something about getting help with the OBD and meeting with our attorney. I'll pick it up from there.

Our attorney chatted with us and went line by line over the OBD. A bit over two hours later, she had a couple pages of notes of changes she saw and a few questions from us that needed clarification of wording. I wish I could post a few of the more abserd lines, but there is a clause in the OBD that states I can't share the content of the document. Let's just say that I had a good laugh over a couple of the lines and a "duh" over others. :-)

Anyway, the changes were emailed and sent to us to get our okay, then emailed and sent to the agency and M & A for their response. Most of the requests were okayed and a few were compromised. Nothing too big and definitely nothing that was a deal breaker. Anyway, some more back and forth emails later and I was finally given the final OBD to sign and have notarized. In triplicate. With one whole page handwritten by me. And each page initialed by both me and Shawn. In triplicate. (Yes, I had a hand cramp when I was finally done!)

The copies were then delightfully priority mailed to the agency and M & A for their signing and I started getting fun emails again. :-) Let's talk about those now.

Email #1: I was given the contact info for my program coordinator. I believe she is going to be the person who will get the meds to me and get my cycle where it should be, and a bunch of other medical stuff needed for this all to take place. Once the agency gets the OBD and everyone's signatures then all of the medical stuff starts to happen (I guess).

Email #2: I was given the contact info for M & A. Woo Hoo! Of course, me being me, I shot them a quick little note letting them know I am still on board and excited to get their miracles started. It was so nice to have that contact with them and to get their response that they are still here and ready to go, too. Big sigh of relief! I hadn't talked with them since we had lunch a couple of months ago and was curious to know they hadn't changed their mind or were frustrated with the whole process or me and the changes I requested with the OBD... they are still excited to get things going, but of course are a little nervous about this and will feel better once I actually am pregnant. I can understand this and hope and pray everything will happen fast and well for their sake.

Anyway, I hope to hear from the agency and/or M & A this week and find out where we go from here. Let's get these miracles started!

Help with the OBD...

On Thursday, Shawn and I met with our attorney to go over each line of the OBD. Over two hours and a ton of discussion later, our attorney has a list of minor changes and revisions. Mostly, they are changes to the wording to protect me in case... well, in case anything goes bad. She said that she will have the changes sent to our agency and to us sometime Monday (tomorrow).

Then, I talked with the agency and let them we had the meeting so they will be looking for the changes. The changes can then go to M & A and we can get this ball rolling! Well, I guess we have a little back and forth to do before we get a signed document and THEN we can get this ball rolling. Gotta love legal stuff, right? All for a miracle or two...

Progress...

I have been wondering what is happening on the IP's (Intended Parents) an agency's end as I have had nothing going on. Well, wonder no more! I was emailed the Official Big Document of a contract nature. HOLY COW, is that a crazy thing! Basically, it covers almost any thing, circumstance, scenario, whatever that could possibly happen during an undertaking of this nature.

Next, I have been given a list of attorneys in the area who do this sort of thing and have been instructed to contact them for review of the OBD. That is the fun I have for tomorrow afternoon. Well, once Shawn and I have a couple of minutes (more like an hour or two each) to read it, then we will send it on to the lucky attorney.

The long and the short of it is that once we get the signed OBD, then things really will start... medications, doctor's visits, check ups, and hopefully, a miracle or two. Stay tuned!

The Waiting Game...

I am a pretty patient person usually. I don't mind waiting unless I am inconveniencing someone else (i.e. the doctor's office is running late for my appointment while I am there on my lunch break so someone else has to cover for me during my extended absence.) Honestly, I don't mind waiting my turn.

However, I have lately found myself a bit anxious with all of this waiting! I was waiting to find the perfect set of IP's profiles to be sent to me. Check! I was waiting for the first phone call so we could see if we wanted to work together on creating a family for them. Check! I was waiting to hear if they chose me after the call and they had my info. Check! And now... I wait.

I think I would be better if there was a surrogacy check list. Mine would go like this:
- Fill out endless paperwork and submit to agency
- Get clearance from agency and MD
- Read over potential IP's profile and decide if you would like to get to know them better.
-Have a lengthy phone call with agency and IP's talking about personal matters, beliefs, etc.
-Decide if you want to work with this couple and email response to agency.
-Hear back from agency that IP's want to work with you.
-Wait for IP's to get the contract okay'd.
-(Meanwhile) Start a new BCP
- Have psychological evaluation
- ... that's all I've got so far. I'm waiting for the contract to be sent to me for my review, waiting to start meds, waiting for I don't know what. I'm waiting for our miracles to start!

A Wonderful Meeting

Yesterday, my family and I met A & M for lunch.  A & M asked for the meeting and I happily obliged. I have to admit that I was pretty nervous. After all, we had only read each other's profiles, looked at a few pictures of us with our families, and had one one hour phone call prior to this. What if they didn't like me? What if they decided to keep looking for surrogates? What if I wasn't what they had expected? What if...? Anyway, before I got too carried away with my what if's, I decided to try to relax and see what happens. Worrying wouldn't make the questions go away, right?

We pulled up to the restaurant (which was busier than I had guessed it would be) and, deep breaths, went inside to meet A & M.

They were there already and, long story short, they are wonderful. Everything I had hoped and prayed for my IPs (Intended Parents) to be. We had a nice lunch in the busy restaurant, they loved my kids (even brought them teddy bears!), and I feel more confident that I am doing the right thing by being their surrogate. I am so glad that I get to help them create the family they so desperately want but are unable to have. Let the miracles begin!

Finally! An update worth waiting for...

Yes! Finally, I have something noteworthy to write about. Last Friday, I had a conference call with a wonderful couple, A & M. They were everything I have been looking for in a set of parents! We agreed on all of the "big" issues, i.e. selective reduction, termination, etc. They were wonderful!

After the phone call, I called my husband, Shawn, and greeted him with "I found our parents!" I then gave him a recap of my phone call. He also agreed that they sound perfect for us. So, even though my agency coordinator recommended that I take the weekend to think about it, I shot off a very short "I want to work with them!" email. And then I waited for A & M to decide if they want me...

All day yesterday I checked my email waiting for the "Yes!" email to come... and it never came. *sigh*

So, today, I emailed the agency to see if they have heard anything from A & M either way. Shortly, I received the email... they said yes! I'm matched! I'm so excited!

They asked if my family would be willing to meet them for lunch or dinner this weekend so we can get to know each other more. Hopefully, this will work out for all. I can't wait to meet them and get their miracles on the way!

No news...

Just an update to say that I haven't heard anything recently from my agency coordinator. I've been praying about all of this, and I think that the right couple is out there and that I shouldn't compromise my values just to make a match. I want to give this agency one year and then make a decision about everything. I am still waiting for the match, but I can be patient for the right miracles. :-)

More waiting...

I mentioned the last post that I had been picked for a phone call to get to know T & J. Friday at 11 came... I was a nervous wreck prior to the call! But after an hour and a half phone call I discovered that we disagree about two issues, but other than that, we were completely compatible. Who knows what would happen over the weekend?

On Monday, I received an email from my coordinator saying that T & J decided not to go with me after all.

Oh well. Their loss, right? There is a couple better suited out there for me to work with. Now, we just have to wait to find them...  More waiting for the miracles...

Let the adventure begin!

Last week I was sent the profile of a couple. I'll call them T and J for now. They are a couple unable to have children on their own and from the same part of the state I grew up. My heart went out to them immediately... I told my coordinator that yes, I liked them and would like to talk with them. She relayed to me that they were considering me and one other surrogate.

The next day, I received the email I was waiting for... they picked me! Oh boy...

Now, I am waiting for the "Get to know you" phone call which will take place on Friday. I'll keep you posted as we wait for miracles.

What am I thinking?

Okay, this is the craziest thing I have ever done... I signed up to be matched with a couple to assist them with a surrogate pregnancy. No sane person does this, right?

Let me start at the beginning... In March 2012, I mentioned to my husband Shawn that I was thinking about surrogate pregnancy and asked what he thought about the subject. He, being the wonderful guy that he is, said that if this is something I want to do, he would help me look into it and talk about it. After doing as much research as possible, I contacted a local agency and asked for more information. A couple of days later, I had a phone interview and a day after that was sent a large packet of info, applications, etc to look over.
After going over the stuff in the packet, talking with Shawn, and a lot of prayer, I spent several days filling out the application and gathering all of my info to send to the agency. And then we waited...
At last, I received an email from the agency that I have been approved and they are going to start looking for a couple to match me up with to start this crazy journey.

I had been thinking about surrogate pregnancy for some time now. When I was pregnant with our second child, a childhood friend was also pregnant after trying to get pregnant for many years. When she was about 22 weeks pregnant, she miscarried her twin girls. I went on to have a successful pregnancy and delivered a healthy baby girl. Let the guilt begin. I needed to do something to help people like my friend.

Let the adventure and the miracles begin!