And that result would be negative. I am not pregnant. My HCG dropped to a 2.
M & A are crushed, naturally. I haven't spoken with them, I want to give them time to process, but my heart is just breaking for them. I know how much they have invested in this process and to think that six months of our lives have been revolving around this process. It's a lot to have gone with one phone call.
According to PC, M & A aren't sure they want to go forward from here. PC will give them some time and then contact them to find out what they want to do. I told PC that if M & A want to go forward that I would definitely want to be a part of their journey if they would like to continue with me.
I have been instructed to stop all medications, so I'm officially done with extra hormones for the time being. I'm still cramping a lot, but that's been happening since last Thursday. And yes, I'm still bleeding, although not nearly as heavy as a couple days ago.
Emotionally, I'm feeling heavy, mostly with disappointment for M & A. I guess I hadn't realized how emotionally attached I was to M & A and their pending miracle. I, of course, am disappointed. I know that I did everything possible to give us the best situation possible, so I'm not feeling guilt (that I've been told often accompanies surrogates who are in this situation), but there is still a small part of me wondering what else could have helped us have a different outcome. I guess there are some questions that just don't have answers.
My thoughts and prayers are with M & A as they make tough decisions. We all need a miracle to get us through the next couple days.
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