Shawnee: Surrogate and Contortionist Extraordinaire!

A couple of days ago I passed into the land of "late pregnancy" and was greeted with the place of uncomfortableness. I haven't gone all the way to "get these kids out of me" but am at the place where I'm changing positions every 5 minutes. Today's ultrasound showed us why this is happening.

Let me fill you in on what I mean by "uncomfortable" first, then I will explain what is happening.

With my big belly, I'm feeling a lot of the baby weight rather low in my abdomen. No, this is not "pressure" and no, it's not contractions that I'm experiencing. It's purely baby weight and gravity that I'm fighting.

On top of that, I've been experiencing some massive foot jabbing in my left rib for the last couple days. I've been begging Cohen to change positions just a little as this foot hurts! In fact, Cohen was moving with large movements so much that the left side of my belly was significantly bigger than my right. I told my husband that I wouldn't be too surprised if at the ultrasound they told me that Cohen flipped again, he was moving so much!

At today's ultrasound, we found out that both babies are still head down. Brady has been low on the right. We've known that for a couple of months. However, as the tech was checking his body, she discovered that while his head is low and to the right, his fanny is up really high kind of in the middle. That's not the issue though. Brady isn't content curled up in a fetal position, oh no. His foot (feet?) are way over on my left side under my ribs! All this time I thought that Cohen was the troublemaker under my left ribs and here it is Brady! Man, can that kid push on my ribs!

Cohen apparently doesn't like Brady on "his" side and is presently sitting on Brady's foot! When the tech looked with the ultrasound, she saw lots of feet and a couple of fannies in a very small space under my left rib. 

Cohen is facing in toward the center and it's his back along my side where I've been feeling those big monstrous moves. 

I have to laugh at something the tech said today. Brady was moving quite a bit for the ultrasound but his moves were just the little moves that I can barely feel. Cohen was kind of quiet today with not a lot of movement during the test. The ultrasound tech said "he seems like a very chill baby." Ha!! If only she could see him in the late afternoon or early evening when he is all over the place and makes my stomach look like something from a sci-fi movie! Brady does move, but Cohen MOVES!

Things still look good for the babies and me. Brady's heart rate is 155 beats per minute and Cohen's heart rate is 141 beats per minute. Both boys passed their BPP easily.

I'm doing well. Dr Wagner did not check me this week. She will have to check me and do the group B strep test next week so I opted not to know if things are progressing more than last week. Let's leave well enough alone, right?

I did ask about a maternity support belt to help with the discomfort of two babies. Remember, I am currently carrying more baby weight than I ever have and I am measuring where a single pregnancy would be at 39 weeks. She was great and gave me a prescription for a belt and suggested that I have it filled at the supply place across the hall. Convenient!

I'm so glad we've made to 31 weeks. It wasn't looking so great at the scary ultrasound back at week 24! Each day, each week is a blessing and a chance for the babies to safely grow without a ton of interventions. 

Feeling blessed to be with little miracles.

31 weeks and dressed to go out (to the OBs office!)

Sleep, Sewing, and Holidays

I never would have guessed that growing two babies was such an exhausting activity! My daily nap is the only way I can somewhat feel like I can keep up with my two busy kiddos. And the funny thing is that by "keep up" I really mean "keep up mentally with the conversations, drama, and requests." 

I know part of my fatigue can be blamed on interrupted night sleep. Between multiple night time bathroom trips and our small children (or dog) needing one of us (usually mommy) during the night, I'm not getting a solid nights' sleep.

I'm still being good and staying down the vast majority of the day. Bathroom trips are frequent, small bites of food happen throughout the day, and random meals still occur (you should see some of the meals I've put together lately. I think I'm just getting points for creativity and the fact that they are filling.) On days that I'm obligated to do more, ie doctor appointment, I can really tell that the babies don't appreciate my increased activity level as they complain about it. 

I've tried to go back to my morning chai or a bit of caffeinated beverage to give me a slight boost when I'm really dragging, but what seems to happen is that the babies take all of the caffeine and sugar and just leave me with the liquid which leads me to the bathroom. The boys have quite the little party after about 15 minutes of caffeine!

All of that summed up is quite simple: I'm tired and enjoying my naps!

Other than tired, I have officially hit the place where caring for my toenails isn't happening by me. I told Shawn that I am going to splurge next month on a pedicure. I've never had one and I think that being unable to comfortably reach my toes is a great excuse to get one. I'm waiting until April for a couple of reasons: my cousin's wedding is in early April and Natalie is the flower girl. She and I might need to make a day out of having our toes done. Also, I've been predicting that the babies are going to hang out right where they are until April, so I think that would be a great reason to celebrate getting to that month. Finally, my birthday is in April and although I don't usually do much for my birthday other than a nice dinner out, I think a pedicure would be a nice way to ring in my 36th year.

With the bed rest, I am please to say that I have officially completed all of my sewing projects that I have been working on. My cousin's wedding dress has been altered, Natalie's flower girl dress has been beaded with a bazillion 2mm pearl beads and enough tulle sewn in to give her the fluff she wanted, and Annalies' Easter dress beaded to her specific specifications. 

That's what's going on with me this past week. I was pretty excited to be able to get both of the boys moving on video at different times. I quickly sent the videos on to B & R so they could see their babies moving, too. I've been trying to get them on video for a couple of months now and was thrilled to finally get them! I have a new goal now and that is to get both of them moving at the same time on video. I'm watching and waiting for this to happen, but we will see!

In honor of St Urho's Day, today's pic is with my favorite purple shirt that currently fits. What? You don't know about St Urho? Google it. It's a fairly big holiday in northern Minnesota where I'm from. People dig out the purple and the grasshoppers for today. It's kind of like St Patrick's day, without the beer. Seriously, Google it. And technically, the babies are in the land of the Finns, so they are going to celebrate with me as well. (I have no idea if the boys are Finnish, and I know I'm not Finnish, but it's something I grew up with, so they are coming along for the ride.)

And yes, tomorrow we will be in green in honor of my 1/8th Irish heritage (again, not knowing if the boys are Irish or not). Since I'm pregnant, and even more importantly, don't like beer, the most we will indulge in is a fresh batch of beer batter bread with a healthy topping of butter slathered across it. Yummy! But my kids love St Patrick's day so we will have green milk, green eggs with ham, search for some gold coins, and all get decked out in as much green as possible! After all, we don't want to get pinched for not wearing our green!

This coming week has another OB appointment with yet another BPP for the boys, there is a judiciary hearing at the Minnesota State Capitol regarding some proposed surrogacy laws that I'm hoping to attend with the aid of a wheelchair, and some more R & R. Now that my mending and sewing is done, I'm going to have to try to figure out some new reclining projects to do. Hmm, Pinterest, here I come!

Looking forward to little miracles.

30 weeks 5 days

Happy Doctor's Appointment

Today was another OB appointment. And, yeah! We were able to see the babies again! I'll start with the babies' info.

Brady is still stinkin' low, but I knew that. The past couple of days have been slightly uncomfortable for me with just how low he is. In fact, it was slightly difficult to get his measurements for an accurate size estimate so there is a possibility that his measurements are a bit off. His heart rate is 138 beats per minute. He is measuring approximately 3 lbs 5 oz (again, he was difficult to get an accurate measurement due to his position.) He is measuring right on at 30 weeks, 2 days.

Cohen, thankfully, has finally listened to reason and is now head down. Yeah! I didn't know where he was, honestly, because he gives me those large movements several times a day. Who knows what this little guy is doing in there! He gave us lovely pics (see below) and great measurements. Cohen's heart rate is 125 beats per minute. He is measuring 3 lbs 10 oz and is measuring 31 weeks 1 day. 

After the measurements and pictures, it was time for my exam. I am looking good! I am still dilated, now at 2-3 cm, however, the cervix is feeling thicker and not thinning out like it would be should I be in labor, so that is a pretty decent combination. The doctor is optimistic with where I am and where the babies are. I keep saying that these are April babies, so we have a few more weeks for them to grow inside. We will see! 

The plan from here is that if things do progress, I would go to my regular hospital. They would be able to take the babies in their NICU since we all made it to this point. I will still be going in for weekly checks on both me and the babies. At 32 weeks we will do the Group B strep check, and again at 36 weeks (yeah, right.) With my first, she was born just a day short of 36 weeks, so I didn't have this test performed and they ended up pushing the antibiotic through my IV during labor. As I really didn't want this to happen with my second daughter, I requested the check at 35 weeks. Thankfully, I was negative for Group B at that time and didn't need the antibiotics with her (It hurts like crazy going in!)

So, all in all, a very happy doctor's appointment. Things look good for both me and the babies, which I am so very thankful. Now, to relax and let them continue to grow! Growing with little miracles. 

Cohen in 4D. Look at that sweet face!

Cohen's profile.

Brady's profile. (Its the best shot we had today!)

Holy Pile of Legal Paperwork!

I was so happy to have a relaxed morning with my kids on the day after daylight savings. Natalie doesn't have school today (who knows why) so the girls and I were hanging out in jammies and watching some tv. 

Then the doorbell rang. Awe, nuts! 

I quickly ran to the door to find a delivery driver there holding something for me. Now, if you know me, you know how much I love getting fun things in the mail. It's kind of a "Christmas morning" rush that comes with a box by the door or a special delivery. Fun, right!

After answering the door, I was handed a huge envelope by a Fed Ex driver. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm being sued or divorced or something. The envelope clearly says that it's from a lawyer.

She would be wrong with any of those assumptions. I happen to know the lawyer. He's the director of the Agency and is handling all of the paperwork and legal stuff for the entirety of the surrogacy. He's a nice guy and I appreciate his experience in handing everything for us. 

After opening the big Fed Ex envelope, I found yet another envelope.

Here's where the mystery envelopes get good. Upon opening this envelope, I unearthed a huge stack of papers!

Not even kidding, this stack is a good 3/4 of an inch thick and has 20 flags or post its on them! Wow, that's quite a stack of papers (71 pages)! And, this is just one copy of everything, it's not even duplicated!

Upon reading everything, I learned that with the crazy effacement and dilation I've been experiencing, the Agency is trying to get all of the paperwork in place that we will need after the babies are born. They don't want to be caught off guard, should the babies be born early.

Without giving specifics, there's a bunch of steps that will take place in court after the babies are born. A few things that will happen is that the court will establish that I gave birth but I am not the genetic mother. (Remember, the state of Minnesota thinks that if you gave birth it's yours). The court will also acknowledge that Shawn is not the father of the babies even though he is my husband. Finally, the court will take my name off Brady and Cohen's birth certificates and put B & R on them. (The court will do a bunch of other things, but they don't really apply to me, so I'm not going to comment on them.)

Honestly, the only thing I don't like about all of this is the cold phrase "termination of parental rights." It sounds so heartless and uncaring. It's going to go down in history that I, Shawnee, voluntarily gave up parental rights of another human being.

Please don't misunderstand me. I don't want to keep these babies or take them home with me. I don't want to be responsible for the upbringing, guardianship, nurturing, or character building of Brady and Cohen. 

I have no trouble with the thought of B & R taking the babies home. I'm really good with where Shawn and I are with our family and honestly, the thought of twins is a bit daunting to me at this point in my life. I'm confident that B & R are going to be wonderful parents and will give Brady and Cohen all the love and support they need. It's just the cold words and terminology that I don't like. (Can I blame this a bit on hormones?)

B & R can be confident that they will have no issues from me when it comes to all of this legal stuff. I get that this is just how it is right now in our state and this is just what needs to be done to make this surrogacy all legal, final, and stuff like that. I just wish there was another way to phrase it. Something that was a little less "made for TV movie" and a little more "I did my part, now it's time for the parents to do their thing." How about "wish them well and keep in touch." or "it's been fun, drive safely." 

I know, I know, the legal system is supposedly devoid of feelings so it can be impartial to all parties involved. I get that and know it is necessary. Courts aren't subject to the hormones of a pregnant woman (and thank God for that, right!)

Anyway, Shawn and I will soon find time to go to a notary and sign our names 18 times. We will get the big ol' packet back to the Agency. And we will make sure things are legal for little miracles.

Singleton vs Twins

This week I realized that while many women have the blessing of carrying a baby once or twice (or more) in their life, the odds of a woman carrying multiples is slim. That being said, this post is mostly for the women who have carried a baby and want to know what it is like to have two babies at the same time. 

Let's start with the morning sickness from the first trimester. I didn't have a lot of nausea with either of my single pregnancies. There was a little bit of nausea and some pretty fabulous food or scent aversions (hello, raw meat! I couldn't see raw meat, let alone smell it for the entirety of my first pregnancy.) Twins: Holy cow the nausea! My OB kept telling me that with two babies the hormones that cause nausea were magnified and that's what caused the truly "fabulous" morning sickness. I'm just so thankful that Zofran was invented so I could have brief moments of nausea reprieve. I am so glad that I didn't have the morning sickness throughout the entire pregnancy!

Showing. Obviously its magnified with multiples. I believe I was sporting a pretty decent baby bump by 10 weeks. With my girls, I felt puffy around week 14ish, but didn't have much of a bump until I was closer to weeks 18-20. My doctor measured me at my last appointment and my uterus is measuring where I was when I gave birth to both of my singles. And, just think, as every woman who has had a baby knows, a ton of the baby weight happens in the last trimester! In the last 6ish weeks the babies will gain about 1/2 lb every week.

Movements are definitely different. When just one of the babies is moving at a time it feels a lot like when carrying just one baby. That being said, when both of the babies are moving it is such a different experience. I often guess at what is going on in there when they are both moving. Cohen has the big movements. I don't often feel like he has the small jabs or kicks that often happens with babies. It feels like he is trying to get comfortable over there and enjoys sticking his little fanny out the side to make more room (he curls up and gets his knees up to his chest). Cohen also likes to stretch out fully by jamming his head under my ribs (yes, he's still breach) and sometimes pushing his feet down on whatever organs are crammed into my lower abdomen. Meanwhile, Brady's head is stinkin' low in my pelvis. I can often feel his hands or arms pushing out toward my leg (strange, I know). He doesn't kick me in the ribs too often, but he has a lot of room since he is so low. He's a puncher and a bit of a kicker, but they aren't painful at all. He moves a lot, but not the big "lean over to the side to give him his space" kind of movements (that's Cohen's thing). 

I know that when Natalie or Annalies was in utero feeling their movements was such a bonding experience for both me and Shawn. When Cohen or Brady is moving, I'm enjoying the feeling and I grab my phone to try to video it to share with B & R. I want them to be able to see their babies' movements as well. However, these babies are rather camera shy and usually stop moving as soon as I click play. Silly boys! Hopefully, once they come out in the open, they will more open to pictures and videos. 

Fatigue is a bit exaggerated at this point with twins. First trimester fatigue was comparable to that with the girls. I'm not sure if I really can compare this third trimester fatigue with that of my other two. I wasn't on bed rest with the other pregnancies. I'm not sure if the fatigue I'm experiencing these past couple of weeks is from my body helping little babies grow, the lack of activity I'm experiencing, or just third trimester fatigue. Either way, my afternoon nap/rest is something I cherish these days!

I hope my observations have helped give a glimpse into some of the differences between a singleton pregnancy and a multiple pregnancy. There definitely are differences between carrying one baby and carrying two. It's a totally different ballgame with two!  

Overall, the boys and I are doing well. They definitely like me "down" rather than active and I can tell on days that I attempt too much. 

Bed rest is going well. Honestly, I do miss adult conversation. Some days Shawn is out of the house from 8:15am until almost midnight. I am so thankful that Annalies is home with me so I have someone to talk with and distract me. She is at an age where she can do a lot for herself, but still needs me to help with meals and some other things. With me having to feed her a well balanced meal means that I have to feed me a well balanced meal as well. I would be prone to snack if I didn't have to give her meals. And, seriously, who doesn't love a little blonde hair, blue eyed little girl! 

Oops, off topic again. :-)  Lack of real conversations with people (thank God for Facebook, text, and email!) the inability to do housework the way I want to, and slight boredom are really the downsides to bed rest. The up side is that Brady and Cohen are thriving and staying where they need to be right now. And, that is all that that matters.

Miracles make me smile. :-)

29 weeks 5 days

I've Got Some Explaining To Do!

Kids! Gotta love them! 

My kindergartener, Natalie, told me today that she was having trouble with one of her friends. She said that she told the friend that her mommy is pregnant but "mommy is going to give the babies to our friends." Of course the friend was confused. She said that no, if your mommy has a baby you take the baby home. Natalie responded with "no, my mommy has two babies in her tummy and when they are born they aren't coming home with us. Mommy is giving the babies to her friends." Confusion ensues.

Natalie asked me if what she said was correct, am I giving the babies to B & R? I said yes, she is correct that we aren't taking the babies home with us, but the better way to tell people is that mommy is having or carrying babies for our friends. I tried to explain that the babies aren't my babies to give. I reminded her that the doctor put B & R's babies in my tummy, so they never have been my babies, I'm just growing them. More confusion ensues. She changes the subject.

Quite a bit later, Natalie brings up the subject again. She said that she has figured it out. She'll just tell people that the doctor put our friend's babies in my tummy, and when the doctor takes them out she'll give them back. All right. Whatever works for her. (I still see confusion with her friends in her future.)

I had a good chuckle out of it, anyway. :-)

Today was my weekly OB appointment. A biophysical profile (BPP) on the babies was performed as well. What this checks is the growth and development of the babies. It checks their heartrates, breathing (yes, babies practice breathing while floating around in amniotic fluid), large muscle movements (big kicks or jabs with their arms), small movements, and the amniotic fluid level. The babies both passed with no issues (I could have told her that. These babies have been kicking the stuffing out of me!)

My OB decided to not to do an internal check today. She doesn't want to aggravate things, so we will save that fun check for next time. She was pleased with my report that Brady seems to not be as low and I've not been as uncomfortable with his position. She is continuing to keep me on bed rest as it seems to be calming things down. 

I had to laugh when she said "Shawnee, you have to get through 6 more days. The babies need you to get to 30 weeks at least." To which I replied "these are April babies. They are staying in for a while." And yes, I'm still holding on to that feeling. Brady and Cohen are April babies! 

Laughing and resting with small miracles.

Heat Wave!

Yes, you read that right: I'm having a heat wave! No, I haven't moved from Minnesota and yes, it is still winter here. In fact, I just read that today is the 49th day we have reached a temp below zero this winter. Today's high is supposed to be 5, even though we are currently sitting at -2. Whatever!

I've officially hit the place in pregnancy where I am hot! The past couple of nights my wonderful husband has tried to be helpful by covering me with the bed sheet, only to have me promptly kick it off. This may not seem like a big deal to most, but as a general rule I'm usually on the chilly side of things. I practically live in sweatshirts from September through May. Not even kidding a little bit.

I know that people usually associate the heat with a lot of weight gain in pregnancy, but that's not the case with me. I have to work hard at putting weight on while pregnant. Rough problem to have, right? For me, it is a bit of a challenge. If you have been following this pregnancy, you will know that while I have had my share of nausea, I do enjoy foods. I'm not timid about indulging in a craving when they hit. I do love it when you get to eat the first bite of something you have been desperately wanting to taste. Yummy!

Okay, I guess I got a little side tracked there for a minute. Food and weight. Yeah. I'm trying to add poundage to me and the babies, and my body isn't agreeing with my decision to eat. I've started adding some higher protein convenience snacks to my diet in hopes that they will give the babies the calories and fat they need to be healthy. I also know that ladies who don't gain the appropriate amount of weight often deliver early. Since I'm already at risk for that, I'm trying to eliminate yet another risk of pre-term labor and gain appropriate weight. 

And before I get hate vibes sent to me, let me just say that when I'm not pregnant, I definitely do NOT have this issue! I normally watch what I eat and try to maintain an active lifestyle to stay as healthy as I can. I've worked hard to maintain a fairly slim and active shape over the past couple of years. (I could show you pics of me not in the best of shape, but let's not and you can just believe me).

So, why the increased perception of body temperature? There are several theories to explore:

-My body is working 24/7 to provide for two growing babies. The babies are developing, maturing, and adding the adorable fat that makes newborns so chubby and cute. They need to get the energy from somewhere and since they are currently hooked up to me as their food source it makes sense that my body is working hard to provide for them, thus creating the excessive heat.

-Increased blood supply. I don't entirely understand this one, other that by this point in a pregnancy, my body has something crazy like 50% more blood flowing to all my major organs. The big organs require more blood to function and grow a healthy baby or two, so the theory is that since more warm blood is circulating through me it is causing me to feel warmer.

-Multiple person body heat. You are outside and a bit chilly. Someone you love puts their arm around you for a hug and snuggles you. You feel warmer because of the other person's body next to yours. Same kind of concept going here. I've got two tiny people constantly giving me hugs and snuggles!

Whatever the theory, whatever the reason, I'm warm! Woo hoo! It's an entirely strange concept to embrace and I'm thankful for Brady and Cohen providing me with this little heat wave in the midst of Minnesota's chilly winter.

Heating things up with small miracles!

28 weeks 5 days