Once again, it was someone who is fairly close to me and my family who brought up the subject tonight, and once again, this person decided to tell me that they were against surrogacy and my particular situation. This time, however, the individual decided to involve the kids in the conversation. I don't mean my kids were present as we talked, but more along the lines of "how are you explaining all of this to your children?" and "have you considered what it will be like for the babies (this person refuses to use any names of individuals involved, for some reason) as they grow up? How is this whole situation going to be explained to them?"
Ah, the questions... I answered my critic's questions honestly. My girls have been involved and have been given age appropriate information as needed or requested. My girls absolutely love Rodney and Brad and think the babies are wonderful. Apparently this individual still believes that if you don't expose your children to non-traditional situations, they don't exist for them. You know, like if we lived in the country or I was sheltering the girls just a bit more they would never need to know what surrogacy is. Yeah...
As for Brady and Cohen, I told the critic that as far as I know, when they ask they will be given age appropriate information regarding their birth, they will hopefully know me and understand my role in their arrival, and as for their upbringing, well, that is for their parents to decide and of which I have full confidence that Brad and Rodney will do their absolute best, like most parents would. I don't see how the small fact of not birthing ones own child would play into being a sub-par parent... If anyone can explain that to me, I would love to have help understanding that one. And this critic is in favor of adoption, so the whole not the birth parent argument really isn't a valid one, if you ask me. Is it just because the embryos were created in a lab rather than the old fashioned way? I think that just opens up a whole other can of worms... Is it because I'm not married to the babies' father? (seriously, can of worms opening... I'll stop hypothesizing now.)
My favorite part of the whole conversation was "I'm not judging, I'm just trying to understand how you could be a part of something like this." Hmm, I think I need to send this person the definition of "judging."
The conversation ended with "how are you doing since they took the babies and went home?" (emphasis on the "took.") My response was something along the lines of "I'm doing really well! The first couple days were tough, of course, but I still keep in touch with all of them and seeing pictures of the babies helps. I've been busy and I miss being able to just meet for dinner and to chat, but I can always text and say hi. Things are good! I'm excited to go visit them in the near future!" (Shawn and I are making plans for a long weekend visit.) "Oh, and I'm going to be a surrogate again!" (Not today, sometime after I'm all healed and Shawn and I are ready to talk about the process again.)
With that proclamation, the subject was changed and our conversation was essentially over.
I'm all for questions, but the tone and the thoughts behind the questions kind of steer how I will answer the questions. If someone really is curious, of course I answer their questions candidly and honestly. If someone is being judgmental or just nosey, my flippant, sarcastic responses come out. That's just me.
I feel sorry for this critic. I had guessed their response was going to be something like this, which is why I chose not to be too involved with them this past year. Honestly, I tried to surround myself with positive people who would be my support and cheering section throughout this journey, which is why I didn't associate with them much as of late. I really am okay with people not agreeing with my decision. This isn't for everyone. I totally get that. But, because of this person's attitude and words, they are missing out on sharing some really awesome events in the lives of my family. Seriously, how much better can life get than seeing two adorable miracles!
(Thanks for the pic, Rodney!)
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