This morning the doorbell rang quite unexpectedly. It was FedEx dropping off a package for me. If you have been following my blog you know that I LOVE packages! Today was no exception.
My girls and I sat down to breakfast and I began opening the box. After the packaging was removed, I took out a bottle of meds, then another, and another. 9 different medications totaling 12 bottles or vials. Two different sized syringes, three different sized needles, three packs of alcohol wipes, a sharps container, and a big packet of reading info with administration procedures and side effects and I don't know what else. Wow. The medication and supplies almost filled my table.
This isn't my first attempt for a successful transfer. Back in January I went to Toronto and met with a doctor who transferred two embryos into me. That attempt was unsuccessful. That doctor had me on a few of the same medications this doctor is prescribing, but I believe those meds were about half of what I am staring at, both quantity and variety.
I'm not worried about the meds, after all I've done this once before. I'm not thrilled with the idea of having to poke myself in the stomach and the thigh or fanny, but I knew this was part of the deal when I signed up. I knew there was going to be extra hormones, steroids, and vitamins. I knew all of this. But, it's one thing to know it and another to be staring at it in the face.
After seeing the meds, I snapped a quick picture of them and sent it to my IP's with a quick note that basically said "the meds arrived today! I thought you might like to see them. I will be starting some of them on Friday and the others over the next couple weeks." (One of my IP's is a Nurse Practitioner and likes to hear about the medical side of things.) I shortly received an email back from them stating "Wow, that is a lot of meds! I’m sure with IP's medical background that they have an idea of what all is involved. I on the other hand, am completely clueless when it comes to this stuff. :) So thank you for sharing! If it’s possible I have even more appreciation for this selfless act that you are doing for us." (Some details of their email were changed for privacy.)
After reading that email, the needles and pills and vials aren't that big of a deal anymore. That's what this is all about: helping a couple who could not have a child become parents. They have said something to the effect of this "selfless act" before, yet, somehow I don't feel like I'm doing anything extraordinary. I just feel like I saw an area that I could help with and I'm doing my best to meet that need. I don't feel heroic or worthy of that kind of praise. I just want to help them experience the wonder I have every day when I'm playing with my little ones or the joy of delighting in your child's accomplishments. It's an amazing feeling to be able to share all of that, and all I'm doing is assisting them in their miracle.
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